Quite possibly the most controversial of all of The Boondocks' characters, Uncle Ruckus is out to make sure the Black man stays in check--although he is also (un-admittedly) one himself. HipHopDX had the exclusive opportunity to call up Uncle Ruckus to hear him preach about nappy-headed hoes, the positive sides of slavery and black-on-black crime, and the only man on earth he would ever sleep with.  This interview is definitely not for the easily offended...

Uncle Ruckus: Hello there Aliya, how you doing?

HipHopDX: I’m good how are you?
UR: I'm good, I’m good, Aliya, just tryin' to stay as far away from colored folks as I can, what you callin' my house for?

DX: Well I just wanted to take the time to talk to you a little bit, and let people know more about you...
UR: Alright…what color you is?

DX: [Laughs] Well…ummm….For starters, can you tell us a lit bit about your history and heritage?
UR: I’m mostly Irish …then I got a little bit of Indian in me. I ain't talking bout the American Indians who run all the casinos, I’m talking bout the good Indians- I got a little bit of that, but it’s mostly European blood in me

DX: [Laughs]…so you’re not black …
UR: Aw hell naw, I’m as white as a…you know the inside of one of them Eskimo Pie ice cream sandwiches? That’s what I look like on the inside. White as the inside of one of them Eskimo Pie ice cream sandwiches.

DX: Why are you so enchanted by white people?
UR: Why am I enchanted? White people done the greatest things in the world.  Opened the automatic drive-thru banks, built the pyramids, and Lawd, they smell good…I wish right now I had me a white woman to just roll around my carpet so I could smell it every time I walk into my house. How can you not be attracted to the white man?

DX: Are you seeing anybody right now?
UR: Am I seeing anybody?

DX: Yeah…
UR: I don’t have time.  I don’t have time with all my multiple jobs and educating people to go entering into affairs of the heart.

DX: So what do you look for in a woman.
UR: Uhh, mostly… someone who's really too drunk to really say, “No, sir.” Pretty much any lady who done had just a lil' bit too much to drink to really understand who she dealin’ with. Besides that, of course I look for mostly the true inner beauty--which would be white skin on the outside. I think if a woman is as white on the inside as she is on the outside then, Lawd, she is the woman for me.

DX: Okay, but if you had to choose, who would your favorite black person be?
UR: My favorite black person? If I had to choose anybody, I’d say my favorite black person in the world…who ain't dead…. would have to be a well-spoken black person. Somebody like Colin Powell. Lawd, if you squint and Colin Powell is in a dark room you may as well be talking to a white man.  I guess number two on that list…let's see here…Barack Obama.

DX: Really?
UR: If he just keep his colored mouth shut. He keep lookin' black…

DX: So who is your least favorite white person?
UR: My least favorite white person?

DX: Yeah…
UR: My least favorite white person? What kind of trick joke is that? They ain't made that person yet.  That’s one thing… that’s the difference between colored folks and white folks. You can find a whole ‘lotta evil treacherous Negroes, but I ain't never ran across a white person that I did not enjoy being with.  They all have something subtle about them that just make you wanna be around them.

DX: Okay, so how about burying the word "nigga"…a lot of people have been talking about it in Hip Hop right now, but that seems to be one of your favorite vocab words. How do you feel about that?
UR: I gotta be honest with you right now. I am currently writing a letter to the president of the United States begging him please don’t take the n-word away from us.

DX: It’s a powerful word
UR: It is a powerful word if you use it right; like if you say something like, “Nigga, get outta my way!” I so enjoy that.  But I just don’t want the white man to have so much stripped away from him. I don’t want nobody telling him he can’t use the word "nigga." If I had my way, Black folks couldn’t say "nigga," but the white man could say it all day long. They could sit down with a nice cup of coffee and just say "nigga" so much that they lips start bleeding

DX: [Laughs] Uncle Ruckus, What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up in the morning?:
UR: Just how blessed I am to be trapped in this beautiful body that I got. And how fortunate I am that I don’t have to wake up next to a colored woman. I can’t even understand…no wonder Bobby Brown had a heart attack. Hell, if I woke up to a Negro woman every morning, I hope my heart would blow up in my chest. You aint no Negro woman is you? Continued on page 2 »