Last week, HipHopDX
opened up The Love Thirst Columnwith Jean Grae. Inviting viewers and fans to email love, sex and relationship
questions to the lovely Blacksmith emcee. Dozens of submissions were
made and Jean has taken her time to
answer them. In part 1 we give you answers to 5 questions…
“In your opinion, is it possible to forgive your lover of a crazy sex-party romp
past even though they didn’t know you at the time? Of course being that
we all do crazy shit and eventually move past it, but what if your lover has done
some shit even crazier than you?” – Russel
“Hmmmmmm… Okay, I
think it depends on a few things. Your age, her age, the age you were when you had this sexy sexy-people party…Ability to have the reassurance from your partner that both of you have done
some crazy shit in the past, but in being with them, you don’t want or need
that kind or attention any longer. The latter is truly what’s important. Everyone has a past, but it is just that. A past. What is so incredibly
important in relationships is knowing that you’re both on the same page, with
each other and really with your “nether regions” (heehee) and your heart
and mind. Whatever behavior and environment you had surrounded either of you
during these periods, you need to get that the fuck out of your life, if you’re
both serious about getting to the present and building a future. That’s first
and noticeable. You know, don’t go kick it with the same people who were either
involved (ick) til like 3am and then come in wasted. Bad look. I’m not saying you
have to constantly reassure your partner that you’re being faithful, that’s
fucking annoying, for both of you…but take the steps to change your ways and
actions to reflect that you’re a stand up dude and wouldn’t do anything to hurt
her…Oh, and don’t say you’re forgiven and bring that shit up in fights later
either….oooooooh…good luck homey… Steer clear of gang-bangs. It’s 2008… come on…” – Jeannie
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“Do you have a boyfriend? if so, how do you juggle work with pleasure?” – Nick (Who
attached a picture. All together now, “awwww”.)
“Hey
Nick,
Slick with the attachment there…Yes, I have a boyfriend, HI BABY!! (that’s gay). Well the great thing is that he’s incredibly supportive and continuously a form
of motivation for me when I don’t even feel like getting to work. It’s not a
challenge to balance them out because they can blend for me. In addition to him
being a performer/artist as well. I can’t say that everyone’s gonna be lucky
enough to find someone that compatible and strengthening, but finding someone
who does share a common interest and genuinely have respect for your craft as
you do theirs is the first step.” – Jeannie
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“Hey jean, I’ve been
on a search for a relationship for quite sometime. But it seems that nothing
good has came across to me. I get to know a girl, hang out and try to get to
know them. But it turns out that they only want to be my friend. Nothing else
comes after being there friend. I’m always told that I’m attractive, I’m very
nice, and that I’m dope to hang out with. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong? I
guess what I’m saying…. I get to know a girl and when I go for the kill, they
don’t want nothing from but to be my friend. Well I just don’t know what I’m
doing wrong?” – juno
“Hi Juno,
Let’s start with not using, ‘go in for the kill.’ I’ve gotten some
interesting statements so far, lol… yours included. It sounds like you’re
already projecting a self-defeating attitude before you get anything
substantial going. Rejection can do a whole lot to fuck up someone’s confidence
level, even if you believe like you’re acting as if it isn’t a blow to the ego
or the way you’re responding to women. Once again, ‘go in for the
kill’ kinda gives your attitude about how you’re proceeding away. Fall
back a bit, focus on what it is you want and need in life, your goals and
making the best decisions to be a fully rounded completely confident being.
Like attracts like and the law of attraction rules. Project that happiness
outwards and people will see it. They’ll come to you. the RIGHT ones. You’ll
have to beat them off with a stick. But don’t beat them off with a stick. That could
land you in jail, and due to the incriminating evidence of this letter, it
could be my fault. I don’t want to be imprisoned, Samuel. Please put the stick
down. Best of positive thinking to you, hon.” – Jeannie
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“Peace ms grae….What
would be your ideal proposal? I’m tryna propose to my shorty…shoot me some
ideas… I was gonna fly her in a helicopter around the city and then propose
in the air…so when we land our status would be changed…. mad corny
right???? Anyway help me outtt GRAE!!! I’m tryna do something ILL for
the mrs….” – Murdoc
“Ohhh Murdoc,
“I can’t answer that for you, unfortunately. My ideal proposal would be entirely
too fucking nerdy to let you all know. But really, it’s the creativity and thought put into it, not the amount of
money spent to make it look extravagant for others. Who cares if it’s corny to
anyone else? It’s about y’all. Word up.. just do some thinking, keep it ultra creative and ultra thoughtful.
Women love men who listen and then put it into good use in the future…SCORE!!!” – Jeannie
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“I don’t have a
problem as such, but I thought maybe you might have some interesting ideas. I’m
in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I live on one side of the
country, he lives on the other (“the country” in this case is
Germany). I know, it’s not like I’m talking about a NYC-LA kinda deal. I mean
it’s a five, tops six hour train ride and we’re still in the same time zone.
Still, we really only manage to see each other in person one weekend a month
(at the most, maybe twice a month). I have to take time off work to make the
trip to see him (ohh…my precious vacation days!) and he’s five years younger
(21) and basically a broke-ass student — financially, he just can’t really afford
to be coming up here all the time. Sometimes we meet up somewhere in the
middle and get our romantical on (less time for me to travel/less money for him
to spend on traveling), which has also worked out pretty good. Seeing as I
don’t want to give up my job to move to where he is and how he needs to finish
school, but we also don’t want to break up — for now, we just don’t really
have another choice but to try to make the distance work.
We talk nearly every day, either online or the phone, email/text and whatnot.
But mostly we like to try to make up little games that we can play with each
other from afar– like a photo scavenger hunt or tagging each other’s names in
our respective cities. Just like some creative stuff that we can do together
when we’re not together and not necessarily sexual. We got that on lockdown. I
think I might be running out of fresh ideas though. Or maybe I’ve been trying
too hard to be super creative, so I might be overlooking some really simple
stuff. So, do you have any suggestions for fun/silly/crazy things that two
people can do “together”…but separately?
Thanks!
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p.s. I would like to withhold my real name if this question is published…“
“Hey
Penelope! (isn’t that an awesome fake name?)
Halfway through your letter I was going to give you a different answer, but I
think what you guys are doing is so sweet. I’ve dated in the NY-LA three hour different space… So that was actually more
difficult. We were making it work until we decided that it wasn’t the distance,
it just wasn’t working.. lol.. Any who, creative ideas are my thing! Some suggestions, find some shows or movies that you both either enjoy or want to see/watch and
plan it for the same time. This idea works even better if you both have video
chat on your computers. You can make it relaxing, or really have a movie night,
popcorn…blibbidy blah
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btw.. iChat ROCKS. My boyfriend and I don’t even live far at all, but he is at work all day.. we
make songs on garageband or I make silly iMovies, it’s nice to brighten
someone’s day when they aren’t expecting anything you know? Start a story (writing) and send it back and forth via email. Each take it
where you want, it’s always something dope to read and unexpected. Take a day to take each other on a photo date…a whole day of where you would
like to take them, you can even bring their picture with you if you want to be
extra nerdy and place it where they should be… mail them the series…
keeyute.
If all else fails… Lots of lube, sex toys and videochat… you guys are German.. come on!! Good luck to you both…” – Jeannie
And there you have it folks. Part 1 of HipHopDX‘s Love Thirst Column with Jean Grae is a wrap. If you’re question wasn’t answer, don’t worry … DX will be dropping more shortly. Until then…
