Phonte Coleman and Sinnamon
Love: Turntables Pt 2
P: You know, one thing I did wanna ask you about…I told [DX Moderator]
Aliya that I was gonna ask you…cause we gotta know…what exactly was the
artistic vision supposed to be behind the powdered sugar on the ass
video? Was that supposed to be sexy? [Laughs]
[Moderator’s note: the video in question is a fetish film in which Sinnamon “loads up” her ass with powdered sugar, brings the camera in for a close-up, and then repeatedly farts it out]
SL: [Laughs] Okay, let me give you the low down on the powdered sugar ass. Everyone knows I’m very active in the fetish industry and I work as a [dominatrix]. And with some dom stuff that I do, I have a lot of people who are into ass worship. Fart fetish is a sub-genre of ass worship. There are submissive males who are into the idea of being able to consume the inner most parts of a woman, whether it’s a woman pissing on them, or men who are into the whole scat thing with women shitting on them. Then there are men who are into the fart fetishes. They don’t go as far as wanting to be shit on, but they still want the essence of a woman. The idea that a woman can be so beautiful but do something ‘disgusting’ that normally would be done in a private moment, is hot for some men. They want the privilege and the honor of consuming the essence of a woman. I got a request from someone on my website asking me to do [the powdered sugar fart], and I had to get a better idea of the psychological reasoning behind why a man would be into this particular kink. So afterwards, I decided “Okay, I’m gonna do this,” and oddly enough it had a [huge] response!
P: That’s wild… is that mostly a white audience or black men?
SL: I would have to say that a lot of the more obscure fetishes I come across tend to be white men. But that’s not to say there aren’t black men into it as well. I get a surprising amount of black men who are into pissing and farting and ass worship or wanting to be tied up and have their ass beat and—
P: What! They wanna be tied up and shit? …like…for real?
SL: Oh for sure. BDSM doesn’t have anything to do with the racial stigma of black folks tied to a tree. It’s about giving up complete control. I work as a professional dominatrix and I get a lot of men, particularly with black men, who want a lifestyle relationship with me where they’re my submissive. And to me, a man is a man. He’s not someone I would want to be with [in reality]. They are less than men. But that’s what they want me to think of them: women are all powerful and they must be submissive. But I couldn’t be with that man. If I’m pissing in your mouth every morning when I wake up, there’s no way I’m procreating with you
P: Yea, that’s not a good way to start off…What are you’re thoughts about websites like Ghettogaggers.com and NaziNiggers and shit like that?
SL: Um, Ghetto Gaggers…the guy that owns the site, his view is, “every Black woman says she will never do the site, but eventually we get them.” And I got into a very long discourse with him about the fact that I’ve said I will never do Ghetto Gaggers, and I’m going on record saying I never will. I think that what they’re doing crosses the line between BDSM and abuse. There’s a difference. BDSM is all consensual. It’s the same as consensual sex. But what [Ghetto Gaggers] does is purely abusive. You can see it. You can watch the women on those films and see the mood shift. You can watch the emotion change in their faces as they go from “I can do this” to “what the fuck have I gotten myself into?” for the newer girls that haven’t been around so long, I think it’s a matter of economics. They're coming to do a scene because they need to make money and they don’t have enough money to leave, you know? They might have spent their last dollar on the cab ride there and now they’re stuck. They think if they say no, or if they stop mid-point, they may not get paid. So they continue with the abuse out of fear. Then some of the older girls in the business…I mean, I cant say for sure with all of them, but I know for a fact that some of them do have drug problems…I think sites like that should be banned. But I know we really shouldn’t censor material because—
P: Either its all good or none of it's good.
SL: Exactly. At the end of the day, those women need to decide for themselves what they can and can not live with. Personally I know if I’m having sex with somebody and they’re shoving their dick so far down my throat that I’m puking…that’s not something I could feel okay with myself about later on down the line. It’s unfortunate that some of these women don’t have that type of self esteem or will power to say, "No, keep your fucking check.”
P: I see… so…. you have a kid, right?
SL: Three. I have a 15 year-old girl, a 13 year old-boy and a 10 year-old girl
P: Do your kids know what you do for a living? Do they get teased by their friends at all? How do you handle dealing with shit they might go through in public with people knowing their mom is a porn star?
SL: I always gave my kids age appropriate information as they grew up. So when they were two, they would see ‘pretty girl photos’ of me in lingerie so they understood that mommy took pretty pictures. And I never told them anything intentionally. It was more to give them an idea of this is what mommy does. Mommy is a model and an actress. Then as they got older I gave them more and more information. My two oldest, because they’re in high school now, I’m the “cool mom.” My ex-husband tried to use my profession against me in court, but to my kids it really brought them closer to me. They realize they can talk to their mom about anything because they view me as liberal and open-minded. I have conversations with my 15 year-old about boys and drama that I don’t think she would have had with me otherwise. My 10 year-old, this year, just figured out what sex is. So now she knows that I have sex when I’m working on camera. And for some people while that may be a taboo to explain that to a child because of the connotations of prostitution, she understands that I make movies. And sometimes I’m naked. And sometimes I have sex.
P: Yeah, I feel you. But I think I would be scared that my kids would be all wild n shit like “You can’t tell me nothing, you be fuckin' on camera!” I’d be scared the shit would go the other way, but it makes sense [that your kids respect you].
SL: Yeah, but even in your line of work, I’m sure there may be lyrics you say that your kids could come back and [try to use against you]. Anything that can be left up to artistic interpretation can be manipulated any way a child wants to see fit.
P: Yea even with my seven year-old son, he knows he can rap along with the songs, but he can't say the cuss words. So we already have that understanding.
SL: Exactly.
P: Jenna Jameson said that a lot of guys think they can do porn and it's no problem, and she says her test for them is whenever they’re at…in the hotel lobby or whatever, she tells them to pull your dick out and jack off. And they can’t do it. So that’s the Jenna Jameson test. What I wanna know is, what would be the Sinnamon Love test for an aspiring male porn star?
SL: when I get emails about men wanting to get into the industry I usually ignore the email honestly. So for all the guys emailing me on MySpace, I’m not responding to your email. Most men that want to get in, can’t. That’s just the God’s honest truth. No matter how much sex you have, no matter how many times you’ve fucked the girl down the street with your homeboys, that doesn’t mean anything. Because when you get a camera right up under your nut sack like three inches away from your nuts with a hot ass light attached to it you’re not gonna be able to get your dick hard…
Not everybody is meant to do this shit. We are professionals. Leave this shit to the professionals. [Laughs] But for the guys that really do think they have what it takes, the only thing they can realistically do is get a girl. Find a girl that other people are gonna want to see have sex on camera. If the company wants to hire the girl, and she’s only wiling to work with you, then that’s your opportunity. But otherwise you don't have a chance. The only company I know of that’s even remotely interested in trying new guys is West Coast Productions. But even then, you better have a really big dick. [Laughs]
P: How much of the cumming on camera is real and how much is fake? Is there any way the viewer can tell is she’s faking it on camera?
SL: That’s a tough one. But for me, I know my body well enough that I can always bust a nut. The man doesn’t actually even need to be there in order for me to cum. [Laughs]
P: Yo, I feel you though! [Laughs] If you can’t get yourself off how you expect someone else to?
SL: Regardless of who I’m with, I will find something about the person or the action in order to get myself off. And we also have a lot of control over who we work with and who we don’t. Every actor has a list of people they refuse to work with.
P: Who is on your ‘no’ list?
SL: Wesley Pipes . I don’t wok with Wesley Pipes.
P: [Laughs] Isn’t he locked up now?
SL: Yes, he’s locked up. I don’t really know the specifics. But…yeah, his disrespect for women …the misogyny is just so apparent that I punched him in a scene. I was like, "Can you just shut the fuck up and fuck me? Just stop talking shit." And after that I will never work with him again…then there are others that I like working with a lot. And directors love the chemistry that we have because of that.
P: Like who?
SL: I like working with Jean Claude Baptiste. He's He’s tall, dark, handsome, with a nice thick French accent and he speaks in French during the middle of sex and you don’t know what the fuck he’s saying but its like “oooh!” [laughs]
P: But what happens if a dude busts early?
SL: Well he gotta get it together…but if a guy can get it back up, but isn’t able to actually cum, we do create a solution that looks like cum: White Rain conditioner, or eggs and pina colada mix [laughs]
P: [Laughs] what are your thoughts on some of the girls like Pinky, Jasmine Cashmere…
SL: Jasmine is dope, she’s a real down to earth girl and she really loves sex. I really like her…Pinky…I don’t know. She’s a cool chick. She was really cute when she first got in the industry. It’s really unfortunate that she’s gained a lot of weight because I think that limits her marketability. Much like in the music industry, sex is all about what sells. You can be underground and hood as much as you want, but there’s only so much product that’s strictly for that market.
P: Do you believe in monogamy?
SL: I believe it exists for some people. But I can’t imagine that I’m supposed to dedicate myself to someone for the rest of my life. Monogamy was pertinent when people only lived to 40. I love my man…he is my primary interest. But if he’s away on business in Toronto, imma call up a girlfriend of mine like “can you do me a favor and stop by this hotel?” because I wanna make sure he’s happy as a man.
P: I wanted to ask you about something I heard on Okayplayer, I heard you had cancer?
SL: Ovarian cancer. It’s something I’ve battled with my entire life. Ovarian cancer is the leading cause of cancer in women but doesn’t get as much attention as breast cancer. Ovarian cancer has symptoms that are often mistaken as other problems. Some of the signs of ovarian cancer are bloating, gas, nausea, vomiting, things that most doctors would respond to with, “You have irritable bowel syndrome. Cut back on the dairy.” They don’t assume that it’s something more. So my cancer wasn’t detected until it was really large. I was in yoga class and I was lying down and saw a big ass lump in my stomach. I immediately went to the doctor. It was such a large tumor they could see it protruding. When fans found out, I was really open about it because I didn’t want the rumors of “she’s on drugs” or whatever.
P: Is everything cool with you now?
SL: Yeah, its cool now, I’ve been a year free and clean of the cancer. I still have to go to the doctor every three months so they can [run tests]. I lost an ovary and a fallopian tube, and my appendix. I once had a tumor the size of a fuckin papaya…but I was fortunate. I know there’s a possibility of it coming back. It’s hereditary in my family.
SL: So,Phonte, I’m gonna ask you the corniest question, but I have to ask…when did you fall in love with Hip Hop?
P: Oh hell naw…[Laughs]
SL: [Laughs] I told you it was corny! But I answered all of your questions so you have to answer mine.
P: Oh Jesus…umm…I fell in love with Hp Hop when I got Big Daddy Kane’s Long Live the Kane in ’87- ‘88. My momma bought me the tape from K-Mart. That’s when I first fell in love.
SL: When you and you’re wife are trying to set the mood, what music do you play?
P: See! This the type of shit I like! [Laughs] I’m so sick of people asking me about Hip Hop, and if it's dead…man, I don’t give a fuck about that shit!...[Laughs] ummm…so back to the question….if its just on some cool shit and we just chillin', I play some soft shit like Herbie Hancock Maiden Voyage. I’ll make a nice Jazz tape if we just trying to relax and chill. Or sometimes if we wanna get loose, I mean, we’ve made love to Ghostface before. If I really wanna take it there I’ll have some Project Pat, T.I., and we can get it on to "Rubber Band Man” 'cause sometimes you need that different type of energy. Some people think that when you’re in a relationship, you gotta be like, “That’s my wife, I can’t do that,” or "That’s my wife, the mother of my children.” Yeah, she may be all those things, but you still need to fuck her like she’s a hoe, know what I’m saying? She wants to be desired the way men desire the women in porn or in the strip clubs.
SL: what makes a woman sexy?
P: It’s gotta be intelligence. At the end of the day, a nice body and nice face is sexy, but intelligence will keep you sexy. I see it all the time like, “You bad as a mu’fucka, but you dumb as hell.” Once I finish fuckin her, it's like we have nothing in common. And that shit gets old. Also to me, I like a woman that smiles a lot. They may not be drop dead gorgeous, but she knows how to smile and work a room. And that’s what’s up.
SL: Somebodyon Okayplayer defined a woman as someone who cooks for her man…how do you define a woman?
P: I define a woman as doing things that make her happy. Because there are a lot of women who have no clue as to what they wanna do. If you don’t have a passion, that can be a very hard place to be in. People like you and I have a passion, but if you are with someone with no passion; they’re constantly trying to find that passion in you. It ain't necessarily that cooking makes a woman. My wife loves to cook and I love her for it because that’s what she loves to do. She enjoys that. They say a man is supposed to be a handyman and be able to fix things…but yo…I hate that shit! [Laughs] I’m the least handy nigga ever. I had to put together a CD shelf one time that shit took me like six hours, nigga! [Laughs] I’m just not good at that, and my wife respects that.
SL: When did you know it was love with your wife?
P: When I realized I liked her more than I loved her. I think love is overrated, personally. I have relatives that are on drugs and I love them…but I don’t like them. I don’t you as my relative, but I’m not leaving you alone in my house for even a second. So with my wife, I felt like I had found my best friend. A lot of my O.G niggas who have been married would tell me like, “Your wife gotta be your best friend." The same shit you talked to me about, for the most part you gotta be able to tell her too. If you looking at TV and say, “Damn, that’s a phat ol' ass,” you gotta be able to say that in front of her. And she gotta be able to say “Damn, that nigga fine,” in front of you.” That friendship is the base of it all. Love ain't shit.
DX (moderator): How does your wife feel about groupies in the industry and how does she deal with them?
P: Well I think my wife understands that we are both committed to each other. This topic inspired the song “Breaking My Heart” off of my new album. We are gonna be with each other, no matter what happens. If she were to ever go off with another man, we’d have to find a way to deal with it and keep it moving. I never really see it getting to that point for me though. When you’re a young dude, pussy is the only thing you think about. So when you think of your woman giving “your” pussy away, it’s unfathomable. But once you get older and have that friendship and so much more invested beyond just sex, you realize she plays a bigger role in your life. So it’s like yeah, my ego would be bruised but…at the end of the day, I like the way she cook up that chicken. [Laughs] So we talked and we made a commitment to stand by each other no matter what. I straight told her “the only woman that could make me leave you is you.” If 50% of all marriages fail, it can’t just be something wrong with the people. We gotta look at the institution of marriage itself. So we understand people are human, when you take vows you gotta stand through the good and the bad.
DX: Would you ever consider a Little Brother porno following in the footsteps of Snoop, G-Unit, etc?
P: [Laughs] While the thought of it sounds fun, I seriously doubt I'd ever direct and/or finance my own line of porn. I love my wife too much to put her through that kinda hell. Although if I did, hypothetically speaking, I’d try to service the whole "Neo-Soul/Bougie Nigga" market cause that's one fetish I don't see being exploited. My line would be called "Uncle Tay's Bo-Hoes." I'd be havin' hoes with dreads and naturals suckin' dick with they head wraps on....or have that nigga Justin Slayer hittin' a broad with some kente cloth draped over his neck, and instead of his Timbs… he'd be wearin' some sandals like them African niggas be rockin' in the summer with they white linen drawstring pants. I’d have Jasmine Cashmere doin' reverse cowgirl while sportin' a kufi and one of them big ass Erykah Badu bracelets....and at the end of the money shot, have her say something like "Ashe, my king....the spilling of your seed represents uhuru, brother...be free, virile seed....be free..." or some kinda cosmic shit like that....Also, and I know its taboo, but I think Muslim porn could be a hot seller. I think its ironic that Muslim women are made to 'cover-up' in an attempt to keep their bodies from being lusted after or whatever, but that style of dress just makes you wonder what they got up under there even more. Especially when they have everything but their eyes covered.....it leaves so much to the imagination, y'know? It's very alluring. Some of them chicks be built damn near like black women, and I think it could be a big seller. I'd call my Muslim line either "Hookahs and Honeys" or "It's Some Ass Under Them Sheets, Osama!" My girl-on-girl Muslim line would be called, "Uncle Tay's Jihad: Hoe-Ly War Vol. I" I’d have all them FOI niggas slangin my joints on the low, fam......2 for $15 down at the mosque and shit... [Laughs]
SL: [Laughs] What do you think of Hip Hops influence on porn? All of these Hip Hop artists coming out with their own porn, or even porn actors trying to rap...
P: I think it's dope that cats can get money in other places and branch out and do other things like Snoop and everyone…I actually wish that Hip Hop, and the entertainment industry as a whole, would take more cues from porn. I’m a big fan of porn and the reason I’m such a big fan is because the shit is honest. “We are selling pussy. If you sell this to anyone underage, we will lock yo ass up for it.” And I have much more respect for something that explicitly tells you it’s for adults, rather than someone telling you to “superman that hoe” and that’s for the kids. I’m not hatin' on dude, but I have a problem with that. Some of the nastiest, dumbest songs ever can be played during prime time when the kids are just getting outta school
SL: We coulda had this same conversation in the '80s when they first started putting explicit labels on records, but do you think it needs to be policed more?
P: Well I don’t think it needs to be “policed” because that’s dangerously close to censorship. I do think there needs to be more balance in music though. And more transparency. Don’t tell me this shit is for the kids when it ain't. You can’t have a man like R. Kelly saying he’s doing stuff for the kids. How is a 40 year-old man signing about being in the club ‘for the kids’?
SL: How is a child molester still one of the top selling artists of our time?
P: Let’s be real. R. Kelly pissed on a little black girl; if she as white that nigga woulda been put under the jail by now… But [to answer your question] the power of music is totally subjective. If a song is good, a song is good. All of my favorite musical heroes were assholes. Even Marvin Gaye was a paranoid coke head…but "Sexual Healing" will always be a classic.
SL: But after R. Kellys trial started he came back as the “Pied Piper”. Think about it. Who was the Pied Piper [in children’s books]? He was the man who played music and took all of the children in town away…
P: [Laughs]
SL: He basically laughed in the face of all of the people who gave him a second chance.
Moderated by Aliya Ewing.
[Moderator’s note: the video in question is a fetish film in which Sinnamon “loads up” her ass with powdered sugar, brings the camera in for a close-up, and then repeatedly farts it out]
SL: [Laughs] Okay, let me give you the low down on the powdered sugar ass. Everyone knows I’m very active in the fetish industry and I work as a [dominatrix]. And with some dom stuff that I do, I have a lot of people who are into ass worship. Fart fetish is a sub-genre of ass worship. There are submissive males who are into the idea of being able to consume the inner most parts of a woman, whether it’s a woman pissing on them, or men who are into the whole scat thing with women shitting on them. Then there are men who are into the fart fetishes. They don’t go as far as wanting to be shit on, but they still want the essence of a woman. The idea that a woman can be so beautiful but do something ‘disgusting’ that normally would be done in a private moment, is hot for some men. They want the privilege and the honor of consuming the essence of a woman. I got a request from someone on my website asking me to do [the powdered sugar fart], and I had to get a better idea of the psychological reasoning behind why a man would be into this particular kink. So afterwards, I decided “Okay, I’m gonna do this,” and oddly enough it had a [huge] response!
P: That’s wild… is that mostly a white audience or black men?
SL: I would have to say that a lot of the more obscure fetishes I come across tend to be white men. But that’s not to say there aren’t black men into it as well. I get a surprising amount of black men who are into pissing and farting and ass worship or wanting to be tied up and have their ass beat and—
P: What! They wanna be tied up and shit? …like…for real?
SL: Oh for sure. BDSM doesn’t have anything to do with the racial stigma of black folks tied to a tree. It’s about giving up complete control. I work as a professional dominatrix and I get a lot of men, particularly with black men, who want a lifestyle relationship with me where they’re my submissive. And to me, a man is a man. He’s not someone I would want to be with [in reality]. They are less than men. But that’s what they want me to think of them: women are all powerful and they must be submissive. But I couldn’t be with that man. If I’m pissing in your mouth every morning when I wake up, there’s no way I’m procreating with you
P: Yea, that’s not a good way to start off…What are you’re thoughts about websites like Ghettogaggers.com and NaziNiggers and shit like that?
SL: Um, Ghetto Gaggers…the guy that owns the site, his view is, “every Black woman says she will never do the site, but eventually we get them.” And I got into a very long discourse with him about the fact that I’ve said I will never do Ghetto Gaggers, and I’m going on record saying I never will. I think that what they’re doing crosses the line between BDSM and abuse. There’s a difference. BDSM is all consensual. It’s the same as consensual sex. But what [Ghetto Gaggers] does is purely abusive. You can see it. You can watch the women on those films and see the mood shift. You can watch the emotion change in their faces as they go from “I can do this” to “what the fuck have I gotten myself into?” for the newer girls that haven’t been around so long, I think it’s a matter of economics. They're coming to do a scene because they need to make money and they don’t have enough money to leave, you know? They might have spent their last dollar on the cab ride there and now they’re stuck. They think if they say no, or if they stop mid-point, they may not get paid. So they continue with the abuse out of fear. Then some of the older girls in the business…I mean, I cant say for sure with all of them, but I know for a fact that some of them do have drug problems…I think sites like that should be banned. But I know we really shouldn’t censor material because—
P: Either its all good or none of it's good.
SL: Exactly. At the end of the day, those women need to decide for themselves what they can and can not live with. Personally I know if I’m having sex with somebody and they’re shoving their dick so far down my throat that I’m puking…that’s not something I could feel okay with myself about later on down the line. It’s unfortunate that some of these women don’t have that type of self esteem or will power to say, "No, keep your fucking check.”
P: I see… so…. you have a kid, right?
SL: Three. I have a 15 year-old girl, a 13 year old-boy and a 10 year-old girl
P: Do your kids know what you do for a living? Do they get teased by their friends at all? How do you handle dealing with shit they might go through in public with people knowing their mom is a porn star?
SL: I always gave my kids age appropriate information as they grew up. So when they were two, they would see ‘pretty girl photos’ of me in lingerie so they understood that mommy took pretty pictures. And I never told them anything intentionally. It was more to give them an idea of this is what mommy does. Mommy is a model and an actress. Then as they got older I gave them more and more information. My two oldest, because they’re in high school now, I’m the “cool mom.” My ex-husband tried to use my profession against me in court, but to my kids it really brought them closer to me. They realize they can talk to their mom about anything because they view me as liberal and open-minded. I have conversations with my 15 year-old about boys and drama that I don’t think she would have had with me otherwise. My 10 year-old, this year, just figured out what sex is. So now she knows that I have sex when I’m working on camera. And for some people while that may be a taboo to explain that to a child because of the connotations of prostitution, she understands that I make movies. And sometimes I’m naked. And sometimes I have sex.
P: Yeah, I feel you. But I think I would be scared that my kids would be all wild n shit like “You can’t tell me nothing, you be fuckin' on camera!” I’d be scared the shit would go the other way, but it makes sense [that your kids respect you].
SL: Yeah, but even in your line of work, I’m sure there may be lyrics you say that your kids could come back and [try to use against you]. Anything that can be left up to artistic interpretation can be manipulated any way a child wants to see fit.
P: Yea even with my seven year-old son, he knows he can rap along with the songs, but he can't say the cuss words. So we already have that understanding.
SL: Exactly.
P: Jenna Jameson said that a lot of guys think they can do porn and it's no problem, and she says her test for them is whenever they’re at…in the hotel lobby or whatever, she tells them to pull your dick out and jack off. And they can’t do it. So that’s the Jenna Jameson test. What I wanna know is, what would be the Sinnamon Love test for an aspiring male porn star?
SL: when I get emails about men wanting to get into the industry I usually ignore the email honestly. So for all the guys emailing me on MySpace, I’m not responding to your email. Most men that want to get in, can’t. That’s just the God’s honest truth. No matter how much sex you have, no matter how many times you’ve fucked the girl down the street with your homeboys, that doesn’t mean anything. Because when you get a camera right up under your nut sack like three inches away from your nuts with a hot ass light attached to it you’re not gonna be able to get your dick hard…
Not everybody is meant to do this shit. We are professionals. Leave this shit to the professionals. [Laughs] But for the guys that really do think they have what it takes, the only thing they can realistically do is get a girl. Find a girl that other people are gonna want to see have sex on camera. If the company wants to hire the girl, and she’s only wiling to work with you, then that’s your opportunity. But otherwise you don't have a chance. The only company I know of that’s even remotely interested in trying new guys is West Coast Productions. But even then, you better have a really big dick. [Laughs]
P: How much of the cumming on camera is real and how much is fake? Is there any way the viewer can tell is she’s faking it on camera?
SL: That’s a tough one. But for me, I know my body well enough that I can always bust a nut. The man doesn’t actually even need to be there in order for me to cum. [Laughs]
P: Yo, I feel you though! [Laughs] If you can’t get yourself off how you expect someone else to?
SL: Regardless of who I’m with, I will find something about the person or the action in order to get myself off. And we also have a lot of control over who we work with and who we don’t. Every actor has a list of people they refuse to work with.
P: Who is on your ‘no’ list?
SL: Wesley Pipes . I don’t wok with Wesley Pipes.
P: [Laughs] Isn’t he locked up now?
SL: Yes, he’s locked up. I don’t really know the specifics. But…yeah, his disrespect for women …the misogyny is just so apparent that I punched him in a scene. I was like, "Can you just shut the fuck up and fuck me? Just stop talking shit." And after that I will never work with him again…then there are others that I like working with a lot. And directors love the chemistry that we have because of that.
P: Like who?
SL: I like working with Jean Claude Baptiste. He's He’s tall, dark, handsome, with a nice thick French accent and he speaks in French during the middle of sex and you don’t know what the fuck he’s saying but its like “oooh!” [laughs]
P: But what happens if a dude busts early?
SL: Well he gotta get it together…but if a guy can get it back up, but isn’t able to actually cum, we do create a solution that looks like cum: White Rain conditioner, or eggs and pina colada mix [laughs]
P: [Laughs] what are your thoughts on some of the girls like Pinky, Jasmine Cashmere…
SL: Jasmine is dope, she’s a real down to earth girl and she really loves sex. I really like her…Pinky…I don’t know. She’s a cool chick. She was really cute when she first got in the industry. It’s really unfortunate that she’s gained a lot of weight because I think that limits her marketability. Much like in the music industry, sex is all about what sells. You can be underground and hood as much as you want, but there’s only so much product that’s strictly for that market.
P: Do you believe in monogamy?
SL: I believe it exists for some people. But I can’t imagine that I’m supposed to dedicate myself to someone for the rest of my life. Monogamy was pertinent when people only lived to 40. I love my man…he is my primary interest. But if he’s away on business in Toronto, imma call up a girlfriend of mine like “can you do me a favor and stop by this hotel?” because I wanna make sure he’s happy as a man.
P: I wanted to ask you about something I heard on Okayplayer, I heard you had cancer?
SL: Ovarian cancer. It’s something I’ve battled with my entire life. Ovarian cancer is the leading cause of cancer in women but doesn’t get as much attention as breast cancer. Ovarian cancer has symptoms that are often mistaken as other problems. Some of the signs of ovarian cancer are bloating, gas, nausea, vomiting, things that most doctors would respond to with, “You have irritable bowel syndrome. Cut back on the dairy.” They don’t assume that it’s something more. So my cancer wasn’t detected until it was really large. I was in yoga class and I was lying down and saw a big ass lump in my stomach. I immediately went to the doctor. It was such a large tumor they could see it protruding. When fans found out, I was really open about it because I didn’t want the rumors of “she’s on drugs” or whatever.
P: Is everything cool with you now?
SL: Yeah, its cool now, I’ve been a year free and clean of the cancer. I still have to go to the doctor every three months so they can [run tests]. I lost an ovary and a fallopian tube, and my appendix. I once had a tumor the size of a fuckin papaya…but I was fortunate. I know there’s a possibility of it coming back. It’s hereditary in my family.
SL: So,Phonte, I’m gonna ask you the corniest question, but I have to ask…when did you fall in love with Hip Hop?
P: Oh hell naw…[Laughs]
SL: [Laughs] I told you it was corny! But I answered all of your questions so you have to answer mine.
P: Oh Jesus…umm…I fell in love with Hp Hop when I got Big Daddy Kane’s Long Live the Kane in ’87- ‘88. My momma bought me the tape from K-Mart. That’s when I first fell in love.
SL: When you and you’re wife are trying to set the mood, what music do you play?
P: See! This the type of shit I like! [Laughs] I’m so sick of people asking me about Hip Hop, and if it's dead…man, I don’t give a fuck about that shit!...[Laughs] ummm…so back to the question….if its just on some cool shit and we just chillin', I play some soft shit like Herbie Hancock Maiden Voyage. I’ll make a nice Jazz tape if we just trying to relax and chill. Or sometimes if we wanna get loose, I mean, we’ve made love to Ghostface before. If I really wanna take it there I’ll have some Project Pat, T.I., and we can get it on to "Rubber Band Man” 'cause sometimes you need that different type of energy. Some people think that when you’re in a relationship, you gotta be like, “That’s my wife, I can’t do that,” or "That’s my wife, the mother of my children.” Yeah, she may be all those things, but you still need to fuck her like she’s a hoe, know what I’m saying? She wants to be desired the way men desire the women in porn or in the strip clubs.
SL: what makes a woman sexy?
P: It’s gotta be intelligence. At the end of the day, a nice body and nice face is sexy, but intelligence will keep you sexy. I see it all the time like, “You bad as a mu’fucka, but you dumb as hell.” Once I finish fuckin her, it's like we have nothing in common. And that shit gets old. Also to me, I like a woman that smiles a lot. They may not be drop dead gorgeous, but she knows how to smile and work a room. And that’s what’s up.
SL: Somebodyon Okayplayer defined a woman as someone who cooks for her man…how do you define a woman?
P: I define a woman as doing things that make her happy. Because there are a lot of women who have no clue as to what they wanna do. If you don’t have a passion, that can be a very hard place to be in. People like you and I have a passion, but if you are with someone with no passion; they’re constantly trying to find that passion in you. It ain't necessarily that cooking makes a woman. My wife loves to cook and I love her for it because that’s what she loves to do. She enjoys that. They say a man is supposed to be a handyman and be able to fix things…but yo…I hate that shit! [Laughs] I’m the least handy nigga ever. I had to put together a CD shelf one time that shit took me like six hours, nigga! [Laughs] I’m just not good at that, and my wife respects that.
SL: When did you know it was love with your wife?
P: When I realized I liked her more than I loved her. I think love is overrated, personally. I have relatives that are on drugs and I love them…but I don’t like them. I don’t you as my relative, but I’m not leaving you alone in my house for even a second. So with my wife, I felt like I had found my best friend. A lot of my O.G niggas who have been married would tell me like, “Your wife gotta be your best friend." The same shit you talked to me about, for the most part you gotta be able to tell her too. If you looking at TV and say, “Damn, that’s a phat ol' ass,” you gotta be able to say that in front of her. And she gotta be able to say “Damn, that nigga fine,” in front of you.” That friendship is the base of it all. Love ain't shit.
DX (moderator): How does your wife feel about groupies in the industry and how does she deal with them?
P: Well I think my wife understands that we are both committed to each other. This topic inspired the song “Breaking My Heart” off of my new album. We are gonna be with each other, no matter what happens. If she were to ever go off with another man, we’d have to find a way to deal with it and keep it moving. I never really see it getting to that point for me though. When you’re a young dude, pussy is the only thing you think about. So when you think of your woman giving “your” pussy away, it’s unfathomable. But once you get older and have that friendship and so much more invested beyond just sex, you realize she plays a bigger role in your life. So it’s like yeah, my ego would be bruised but…at the end of the day, I like the way she cook up that chicken. [Laughs] So we talked and we made a commitment to stand by each other no matter what. I straight told her “the only woman that could make me leave you is you.” If 50% of all marriages fail, it can’t just be something wrong with the people. We gotta look at the institution of marriage itself. So we understand people are human, when you take vows you gotta stand through the good and the bad.
DX: Would you ever consider a Little Brother porno following in the footsteps of Snoop, G-Unit, etc?
P: [Laughs] While the thought of it sounds fun, I seriously doubt I'd ever direct and/or finance my own line of porn. I love my wife too much to put her through that kinda hell. Although if I did, hypothetically speaking, I’d try to service the whole "Neo-Soul/Bougie Nigga" market cause that's one fetish I don't see being exploited. My line would be called "Uncle Tay's Bo-Hoes." I'd be havin' hoes with dreads and naturals suckin' dick with they head wraps on....or have that nigga Justin Slayer hittin' a broad with some kente cloth draped over his neck, and instead of his Timbs… he'd be wearin' some sandals like them African niggas be rockin' in the summer with they white linen drawstring pants. I’d have Jasmine Cashmere doin' reverse cowgirl while sportin' a kufi and one of them big ass Erykah Badu bracelets....and at the end of the money shot, have her say something like "Ashe, my king....the spilling of your seed represents uhuru, brother...be free, virile seed....be free..." or some kinda cosmic shit like that....Also, and I know its taboo, but I think Muslim porn could be a hot seller. I think its ironic that Muslim women are made to 'cover-up' in an attempt to keep their bodies from being lusted after or whatever, but that style of dress just makes you wonder what they got up under there even more. Especially when they have everything but their eyes covered.....it leaves so much to the imagination, y'know? It's very alluring. Some of them chicks be built damn near like black women, and I think it could be a big seller. I'd call my Muslim line either "Hookahs and Honeys" or "It's Some Ass Under Them Sheets, Osama!" My girl-on-girl Muslim line would be called, "Uncle Tay's Jihad: Hoe-Ly War Vol. I" I’d have all them FOI niggas slangin my joints on the low, fam......2 for $15 down at the mosque and shit... [Laughs]
SL: [Laughs] What do you think of Hip Hops influence on porn? All of these Hip Hop artists coming out with their own porn, or even porn actors trying to rap...
P: I think it's dope that cats can get money in other places and branch out and do other things like Snoop and everyone…I actually wish that Hip Hop, and the entertainment industry as a whole, would take more cues from porn. I’m a big fan of porn and the reason I’m such a big fan is because the shit is honest. “We are selling pussy. If you sell this to anyone underage, we will lock yo ass up for it.” And I have much more respect for something that explicitly tells you it’s for adults, rather than someone telling you to “superman that hoe” and that’s for the kids. I’m not hatin' on dude, but I have a problem with that. Some of the nastiest, dumbest songs ever can be played during prime time when the kids are just getting outta school
SL: We coulda had this same conversation in the '80s when they first started putting explicit labels on records, but do you think it needs to be policed more?
P: Well I don’t think it needs to be “policed” because that’s dangerously close to censorship. I do think there needs to be more balance in music though. And more transparency. Don’t tell me this shit is for the kids when it ain't. You can’t have a man like R. Kelly saying he’s doing stuff for the kids. How is a 40 year-old man signing about being in the club ‘for the kids’?
SL: How is a child molester still one of the top selling artists of our time?
P: Let’s be real. R. Kelly pissed on a little black girl; if she as white that nigga woulda been put under the jail by now… But [to answer your question] the power of music is totally subjective. If a song is good, a song is good. All of my favorite musical heroes were assholes. Even Marvin Gaye was a paranoid coke head…but "Sexual Healing" will always be a classic.
SL: But after R. Kellys trial started he came back as the “Pied Piper”. Think about it. Who was the Pied Piper [in children’s books]? He was the man who played music and took all of the children in town away…
P: [Laughs]
SL: He basically laughed in the face of all of the people who gave him a second chance.
Moderated by Aliya Ewing.
