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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Shame In The Game

We’ve all made some pretty dumb decisions in our lives, from buying some gear that we’ve instantly regretted (I copped a pair of ugly-ass sneaks from New York a few years ago that haven’t seen its way out of the box in about a year now) to, say, putting an idiot in the White House for the past seven and change years. I either read or learned somewhere during my junior college years that it has something to do with the average person’s natural, self-gratification impulses which compels us to sometimes make silly judgment calls.

I may be a little off with that theory, so if there are any economics majors who are reading this feel free to correct me in the c-section below.

Anyways, the one thing I actually did remember from junior college (outside of honing my skills on Marvel vs. Capcom 2) was this ideal called buyer’s remorse, where we actually feel like shit and wonder why we sometimes purchase things we otherwise would not under normal circumstances. Lord knows I’ve essentially styled some lucky chap the way I toss out the clothes in my closet sometimes.

Anyways, the reason I bring up these concepts up are because of, oddly enough, a random-ass video I stumbled across last night of some guys trying to start an anti-murse movement. Hilariously homophobic as it came across (to me, that is), I was at a bit of an odds about the entire topic; on one hand rocking a man-bag as a fashion statement is just plain wrong no matter how you slice it, yet on the other being so steadfast about it to the point you’d make a rap song and accompanying YouTube about it is as equally retarded.

Similarly questionable was this video of that SOHH Gyant guy getting a tattoo of a computer keyboard etched across his arm LL Cool J-style (he even said that in the video!) as a form of testament to his, errr, blogging prowess. I would provide a link to the entire scene, but seeing as how what’s left of that site is still a competitor for both this spot and my side hustle it’s best if you search for the shit yourselves. In any matter, I’m not saying that the tattoo itself is suspect since I’m actually an advocate of using body art as a means of self-expression and individuality, but I’m wondering what in the blue fuck was going on in duke’s mind when he decided to get that shit, and if homeslice will be content with the thing in, say, 20 or some odd years later. Think about it: how would he explain to his “future” [1] kids that shit:

Son: “What does that tattoo mean, daddy?”
Gyant: “It represents my number one blogger status on the Interwebs, son.”

At least in my case I can explain what all my tattoos mean without getting a blank stare from someone. It’s whatever though.

Think about it like this: you know Yung Berg is having severe buyer’s remorse for that Transformers chain that he got slapped out for it by Trick Trick’s goonie goo-goo brother (by the way has he gotten that damn thing back yet? I mean, Tyga got his chains back and he’s a bigger panty waste than Berg is). And the way this economy is, anybody buying some shit for the fuck of it has got to be out of their Plymouth Rock minds.

* sees red patent leather Skytops in closet

I rest my case.

[1] I say “future” because duke looks more likely to swallow kids from a five-dollar footlong than make them himself. If you see that bugged-out, Corky from Life Goes On look on his grill throughout the video you’ll understand what I mean.

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