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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Slap Box M’s Thoughts From Rock The Bells

Consider this a Mek Dot Twitter of sorts, as these were the things running through my mind during the course of the festival. Fluck a Twitter.

* I finally ran into my compatriot, the undisputed truth seeker, for the first time ever. A lot taller than I originally envisioned.

* Of course getting my press pass wouldn’t be a simple task.  This is a hip-hop festival of course, so an overabundance of nignorance would be omnipresent.

* Listening to Wale perform while still trying to get this muh’fucking press pass. Telling me my pass would be available at 11am, then not delivering until 12:15pm? Just who do these YTs think they are, black people?

* Ran into Wale after his performance. He recognized who I am from this blog. “I’m glad you’ve never talked shit about me.” Class. Sick.

* dead prez came on too early the way they ripped their set. And DJ Beverly Bond is ridiculously finer in person than any picture can depict.

* Rocking raw denim skinny jeans to the desert is even wronger than that “thing” that wants to work for Diddy. Someone’s parents failed them.

* Who is this fly, honey-colored honey with the curly Afro and the camo wifebeater? Someone’s parents won.

* Murs brings out DJ Quik. Nice touch. Now if he performed “Dollaz And Sense” or “Sweet Black Pussy,”  that would have made my day.

*  Immortal Technique is a really angry person.

* Chino XL? Where the hell did he come from?

* I can never listen to “Ante Up” without thinking of this now.

* One fat girl passing out, coming right up!

* I was just recognized again by two random-ass people. Maybe I need to change my picture. Eh, I’m too lazy.

* I wish Rakim was louder. I could hardly hear him over the beats.

* Ketchums will be pissed to know that Pos from De La Soul is rocking his dream sneaks.

* Backstage now... Raekwon looks higher than giraffe throats.

* Raekwon is higher than giraffe throats.

* Michael Rappaport? WTF?

* There are a lot of half-dressed women here. Can’t say that I’m mad though.

* Double-O’s eye: yikes!

* Let’s check out the second stage... *sees Tyga and some piff pocketer rapping to a shitload of high school hipsters, immediately turns around*... I’m never returning to that bum-ass stage again.

* Redman’s performance > Method Man and Redman’s performance > Raekwon and Ghostface’s performance.

* Another passed out fat person! I’m noticing a trend.

* What the fuck are the Black Eyed Peas doing here?

* *falls asleep during Black Eyed Peas’ performance*

* Pharcyde: back like they never lost a step.

* Black On Both Sides > everything else Mos Def has done since, including this bum-ass performance. If I want to hear someone singing fucking Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, I’ll go to a fucking Harold Melvin and The Blue Notes show.

* That was actually the first time I enjoyed a Nas show. Almost makes me want to write about his new album like some crumb has been emailing me to do for a while now. Almost.

* Oh great, Mos Def is back out, this time with Q-Tip. What, he forgot to sing a Minnie Riperton tune during his set?

* Interesting... I got quite a few emails people threatening to punch me in the face at this show over the past few months, and here I am leaving the show unscathed. I must not be trying hard enough.

So there you have it. Surprised the hate spewing was at a minimum? Don’t worry; my shirt did enough work for me.

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