• » Name: Meka Soul
• » Location: Los Angeles, CA
• » Member Since: 04/09/07
• » Bio: Providing clarity in hip-hop since 1981.
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Meka Soul’s Bangingest Women, Take 2

Who doesn’t enjoy the summer? The nice, sunny weather which compels many a brick-thick, cola bottle-shaped beauty to wear the most minimal of clothing, purposely teasing the testosterone-inflicted half of society with their cleavage-baring tops, barely-there bottoms and Fuck Me Pumps. The type of sights you walk past where everything seems to go in slow motion as you watch the dynamic curves and effervescent jiggles confidently bounce past your eyes.

Blame it either on my older sisters’ fine-ass friends that would pass by the crib or the hellafied curvy MILF that I used to live next door to, but I’ve been digging on women of all shapes, sizes and colors since I used to rock the pajamas with the footies and wake up butt-ass early on Saturdays to catch Captain N: The Game Master on NBC. So with the second of the preeminent Amerikkkan holidays where the red-blooded, hetero population can revel in the bevy of dimers rocking next-to-nothings at beaches, malls and various parties across the nation around the corner, I thought I’d take the time out from spreading my venomous ramblings to make a few additions to my list of things I’d like to do before I die. As usual, feel free to toss in your own suggestions as well.

Ciara. When Ciara first came out, I didn’t really pay her no mind because she was nothing more than an obvious play on my personal G.O.A.T. wifey material, Aaliyah (is it wrong to still want to mate with someone who’s deceased? Pause, no necrophilia on that thought), not to mention that she was letting certified old head Lil Bow Wow inexplicably tag that. But once they broke up, she’s seemingly been determined to show Shad what he’s been missing, and has been looking all kinds of smashable in every red carpet appearance, music video and photo shoot she’s done since (did you see the look on RIhanna's face during Chris Brown's performance at the BET Awards? Enough Said). Shad, on the other hand, is busy beefing with video slores and Internets haters while boxes of that shitty duet album he did with Omarion (no hetero) remain in cutout bins at various Big Lots across the country.

In other words, Bow Wow lost.

Alicia Keys. I figure in between selling a brazillion copies of her first album and fending off the rumors that she liked women that liked women, Alicia Keys realized that she had body underneath the headwraps and neo-hippie gear, and has put it on display for the rest of us herbs to fawn over. As much as I hate the channel, seeing her awkwardly gyrate during her performance at the BET Awards almost made me jump through my television set. On top of that she played a hitwoman - and so seductively said my favorite word - in Smoking Aces, and it was like losing my virginity all over again.

Serena Williams. Give a fluck about whether she looks like she packs a bigger dick than I do at times [||]. Anybody who sees that picture above and says they still wouldn’t throw backshots to her is a fucking liar.

Andressa Soares. I don’t know who she is, I don’t know what she does and I don’t even know if she speakee Ingles (if the fuckin’ cash is right © Pusha T). All I know is that I need to make a trip to Brazil quickfast, and it won’t be just to see the costumes during Carnival.

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