• » Name: Meka Soul
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Children Are NOT The Future After All

This blog is a message to all those who don’t practice safe sex. You could get Effed in the Ay if you’re not careful. Always strap up. Or blast in her face.

A word of advice to anybody who’s a both a fan of rap music and slapping it up inside a woman raw deal: you may want to double-bag it, listen to an entirely different genre of music, or both. Any way you stab it, it should always be in the back of every red-blooded hetero male’s mind that the woman they’re about to let loose inside of is going to be the one anomaly in this world who won’t try to yoke you for half of what you own should one of those million-plus soldiers make it to her reproductive system successfully.

Especially considering today’s economic plight hitting this country, not to mention if you do have a kid you don’t want to rear it in some buttercup-soft, sauce ass country, being forced to pay child support will usually result in the father likely doing some jail time, which can never really be a good conversation starter when you’re in the bing to begin with. Imagine that shit…

Inmate A: “I’m doing 25-to-life for killing a bank teller.”
Inmate B: “I couldn’t pay my kid’s child support.”

Good luck trying to squeeze and clinch while you’re in there, Inmate B. Ningún homo.

What’s even worse is when you’re a rapper who did a few numbers back in the day yet still can’t make the child support payments, which is in the case of MC Breed’s. “Ain’t No Future In Yo’ Frontin’” used to rock mega-hard in my junior high school after-school parties. Had I known duke was going to end up tossed in the clink because he can’t keep his former bidge draped up and dripped out while the kid is recycling Huggies Pull-Ups (which is almost always the case in these ass-backward paternity cases) I probably would have bought his tapes instead of recording his shit off of the radio.

The sad thing about this is now that a good chunk of the well-to-do, somewhat successful men who don’t have any priors or Monsters running around in their blood stream are more likely to keep a nappy-headed whore on the side than try to lock on down for the sheer sake that she isn’t trying to run his pockets. Being in an industry like the one I’m in, I’ve seen a plethora of divorce cases due to the demand and stress of the job’s lifestyle. I couldn’t even imagine having to deal with that on top of fending off the Larry H. Parker -style lawyers who are out to snatch up your hard-earned coinage. It’s no wonder you see so many of these jigs pop-locking once they find out they’re not the father on that Maury Povich show. Lord knows I’d be doing the Kid N’ Play dance with Maury himself if I were in those shoes.

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