• » Name: Meka Soul
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

The Holy Hand Of Fire

I’m not a violent person; never have been, probably never will be. And aside from the usually Dame Dash-style outbursts on others it’s been a good decade-plus since I was brought to the point where I had to knuckle somebody down, and I don’t even remember why I boxed her up in the first place. I got way too much going on – like the freedom to download and watch a Sara Jay flick without worrying about my mother walking in on me – to even want to slap out somebody, not to mention that I dress too well to do that anyways.

This is why I could never be a rapper: my inability to punch a girl in the face for no apparent reason eludes me.

On the plus side however I’d never have to worry about catching a domestic abuse charge, unlike the latest person to fall victim to that lean, former shitty hook man/current stroke victim Nate Dogg. If anything, beating the shit out of your ex-girlfriend only begets having an aneurysm and being unable to move or even have feeling in the same hand that would smack the flames out of her, but then again I’m just wrong like that.

But let’s face it: every red-blooded, hetero male has wanted to at the very least shake the shit out of a woman. But most of us don’t for fear of being ostracized from the community as a wife beater, and that tends to fuck up the chances of getting conch elsewhere. Besides, it’s not like having a domestic charge on your record is the epitome of gulliness either. I’m pretty sure it doesn’t bode well for the inmate who’s locked up with people who have actually done a fucked up crime, not just a civil service to the male society.

In all honesty, I’m not going to say that his ex-girlfriend didn’t deserve a good mollywhopping every now and then. With all kinds of laws specifically designed to keep men on the receiving end of a legal BuFu’ing (we’re not gonna even talk about the laws designed to keep Black men down), it’d be only a matter of time before any self-respecting guy would snap, leaving them no choice but to put a Spiz’Ike on their tonsils as if ridding the world of their injustices. Lord knows I’d have dropkicked the shit out of some these nappy-headed hoes if given the chance.

But that’s what some women want us to do, though; (sometimes rightfully) lump up their eyes when they step out of pocket, then have the audacity to act like they’re the victims. Perhaps if they did their research instead of looking at the materialistic advantages of bagging an artist, perhaps they wouldn’t have been chin-checked in the first place. In Nate Dogg’s defense however, I’m sure the woman has seen that old YouTube of him swinging on some random-ass guy with a golf club a while back, so if anything she should have expected a Dragon Punch or two. But leave it to these whores to only look at the wallet than the ashy knucks.

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