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  • » Name: Meka Soul
  • » Location: Los Angeles, CA
  • » Member Since: 04/09/07
  • » Bio: Providing clarity in hip-hop since 1981.
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

The HardBody List [||]


March 18, 2008 | Tags: none
Real talk is that I was gonna lament about the recent story in the Los Angeles Times about Lesane getting set up by Puffy and Biggie Smalls – which I, absurdly ridiculous as it sounds, wouldn’t put it past a guy who beat the ever-loving shit out of Positive K of all people – but then I realized that’s why I don’t fucks with newspapers anyways. Most of the shit in papers are nothing more that improper propaganda and insidious drivel anyways. Kind of like my blog.

But I digress.

Interesting, Lesane’s ethering is perhaps what inspired this post. No, I’m not talking about the ability to shoot oneself in their lower extremities the night before you were sentence to a couple years of being some burly inmate’s bitch, but people who’ve actually done decidedly rough, rugged and raw shit all the while keeping their balls from looking like Roark Junior from That Yellow Bastard. Hell, I bet if Lil Waynker pulled off stunts like these more often, I probably could be around him without bending at my knees and clinching my asshole whenever I pick up something.

Yeah, right. He’ll always be a fag in my book.

Without further adieu, here’s Slap-Box M’s Hard Body List. Feel free to provide your own input as well.

Hugo Chavez. Everybody knows that the United States is one gynormous cesspool ran by an idiot of a president, but won’t say shit for fear that they’ll get the flames smacked out of them at the drop of a dime. Everybody except Hugo Chavez, that is. How raw is it that somebody who once tried to guerilla pimp Venezuela back in 1992 would end up being the country’s president for over a decade? Add to the fact that he uses international political forums to crack on Dubya and dares him to try to stunt on his lawn is the epitome of gully as all hell.

Anderson Silva. Think of the most brolic person you know; you know, that one person that’s always liable to put somebody on their wallets any given Sunday. Now imagine if duke got paid to do that shit, every single fucking day. Guaranteed that person still wouldn’t stand a chance against a non-English speaking, Muay Thai MMA champion. Add to the fact that duke comes from a country where not only do all of the women enjoy taking it up the ass, but they prefer it also, and you got hardbody written all over it.

Kratos. If you’ve ever played this game, you’d realize how insanely gully home slice is. Not only did duke have the balls to take on and slaughter the Gods themselves, he’s wearing the burned ashes of his wife and seed on his skin. Even funnier is the fact that the guy who played Kyle on Living Single is the voice of Kratos, and he does that shit with an almost Oscar-worthy voracity not really seen in video games today.

The New York Knicks. Their current coach is a former member of the Bad Boy Pistons of the 80s who tried to scientifically prove that calling a black woman a bitch was A-Ok. One of their greatest players yammed on 3 members of the Bulls – including Michael Jordan – back in the day. Charles Oakley, Chris Childs and Larry Johnson have all teed off on somebody just because they had the gall to trying to defend the rim. If I ever go to one of their games and don’t hear “Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down” as part of the player introduction ceremony, I’d be shocked and appalled.

The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the writer and not necessarily those of HipHopDX.com or Cheri Media Group.

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