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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Viva La White Girl!

I just always like to have a reason for putting this song up: Gym Class Heroes – Viva La White Girl

If you knew me in college some four years ago (and who didn’t, as I was quite the ladies’ slore), chances are that you’d see my eyes (among other body parts) strictly pointed towards my dark-skinned, mammary-blessed counterparts, and for the most part I felt I’d end up bringing home a Tamaqua or something similar home to moms because let’s face it, Black people are probably the only peoples who’ll beat the brakes off another Black person if they even think about looking at a person of another ethnicity, whereas Whites will just consider you an outcast and make a movie about "the power of love" or some quasi shit.

And for a while, I’ll admit I was one of those humps that perfected a side eye on an interracial relationship. Not to say that I’m racist or anything, but I always assumed that the blacker the berry, the tighter the... you can finish the rest. Not to say I would know if that theory is true or false either, because quite honestly I haven’t strayed away from the black-hand side.

That’s also not to say that I wouldn’t try it either. Hell, if anybody says they wouldn't I’d have to seriously question their sexuality, because regardless of ethnicity they’re all pink on the inside. Am I right, people?

Now that I’ve effectively eliminated any and all hope for a Valentine, I bring this up because it seems like there’s been an increasing influx of men and women of different backgrounds (read tar baby and honky [1]) coagulating on some Rainbow Coalition-type shit. And in all honesty it’s quite comforting to see that nobody has gotten a shank pressed to their jugular or chained to the back of a rusty pickup because of it.

I bring these random-ass ramblings up because of two interesting things I came across the past few days. Last week at the job I ended up conversing with one of only a few YT women that made me do a double-take (outside of Nikki Cox circa Unhappily Ever After and Lexx. Sorry, Shake). Have you ever seen those women that are just bad for no reason? Not bad, but bad? Like good fucking Lord, she’s bad as shit? I’ll be honest; I haven’t done a spit-take for any woman since, like, last June or some shit. And whereas I’d be questioning my own integrity towards my peoples that time I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit, because I’ve gotten past the point where people should not gentrify their ideals to match what their particular community believes is the ideal thing. To paraphrase what I’ve said before, we’re all one color on the inside.

The second (and way more hilarious) occurrence came in the form of a news clip that stated that YTs would eventually become the minority by the year 2050. Granted I get to live that long to see if this will actually happen – which I probably won’t considering I ate about four honey buns for dinner last night – one must wonder if the so-called rules of the game will also change. Real talk, if I could see just one crap shack “Crackers Only” water fountain in my lifetime, I honestly think I’d die happy.

[1] Are those “banned” words also? Maybe some hump from “back there” can clue me in again.

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