• » Name: Meka Soul
• » Location: Los Angeles, CA
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• » Bio: Providing clarity in hip-hop since 1981.
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	February 2008
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Move On Out

You ever think that the reason some people don’t leave the hood is due to the fact that the hood won’t let them? Think about it: why would anybody voluntarily want to live in some of the most decrepit, disgusting slums in the world? Obviously there’s the issue with poverty, low wages and mental retardation – the same of which inspire hilariously (not funny “ha-ha,” but funny in a “detrimental to society” kind of way) wrong things like, say, this video [1] I found last week.

Unless you work a job where your supervisor doesn’t give a shit, I highly suggest you watch that video in the comfort of your own home. Slap-Box M will not be responsible for anyone losing employment over that.

Anyways, the reason why I propose this question is due to a few recent experiences I’ve had over the past few months. Now that I’m finally ghost-riding the Metro Rail out of Inglewood, it’s literally felt that the “allure,” if you will, is trying to keep me from doing so, despite the fact I haven’t liked living here for a cool ass minute now.

Shortly after I found the place I’m going to be staying at, one of the main streets I take started undergoing construction, essentially jumping up my already long commute another ten minutes. Not a problem, since I’m usually awake before most of the yentas - outside of the day laborers – regardless. Then comes the fact that while I was checking up on the new spot last weekend, a series of funerals, cop cars and ambulance trucks stretched what’s usually a 30 minute drive to Downtown Los Angeles to an hour-plus.

But here’s the kicker: after living here for nearly three years, they built a sneaker spot within walking distance of me, and last Friday night I looked up in the sky and was able to see stars for the first time. Not to say that was some karmic, spiritual awakening or some frankincense hippie bullshit, but it’s almost as if the city is transforming itself in order to keep one of its denizens, or at least giving off the illusion that shit is still sweet. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing, had I not seen a number of break-ins at the high school across the street, jackasses parking their car in front of mine so that I can’t leave and the Twinkie-soft gang bangers that pop up every now and then. So that Asian fusion food joint that opened up can kiss my ass really.

But real talk has anybody felt as if the “allure” of the hood is what prevents him or her from exiting that bitch quickfast? Nevermind what any rapper – who contradicts themselves by rocking anus-tight, vice-grip muscle tees while rapping about living in the projects despite the fact they moved the fuck out once their t.I-sponsored royalty check gave them enough leeway to move next to the whitest people around – says; the hood is not the most comfortable setting to live or raise anybody in. The best (or worst, depending on your stance) part about this is the fact that my new apartment doesn’t have bars encasing the windows. I guess I should feel safer, but the shit makes me more paranoid than usual. I think the hood fucked me up something terrible, people.

[1] Did I forget to mention that that link is so not safe for work? Freak that bitch out, Tone!

40 Comments             

He Said, She Said

I guess I should let everybody know that since I’ll be moving on Saturday my mind is on other things, so entries from yours truly will be sparse for a minute. I’m pretty sure my brethren are more than capable of holding it down, however.

Consider this Meka Soul’s art of storytelling, part one.

Part of the reason I try not to expose my inner workings to this world is because a) it’s rather odd to try to gain empathy from a bunch of faceless individuals, some of which live to disagree on my shit and b) I’m too much of a dickhead at times to even warrant compassion. In other words, don’t cry for me Argentina.

But in actuality, I’ve been trying to live life on La Isla Bonita for a cool ass minute, trying to make sure I have a decent foundation for my future younglings as well as hopefully garnering the attention of my eventual queen/wiz/concubine, so I’ve considered these blogs a way of expunging the frustrations of my every day life from my system so that whenever I do meet that one for me I won’t be as, well, fucked up [1].

Yeah, right. As long as there are rappers who still insist on shopping at the Baby Gap, I’m still gonna be around pulling rank. Seriously folks, smedium shirts are just wrong: like, how is your shirt tight like a Jew but your asshole’s more open than the border? I guarantee when a muh’fuck farts that shit whistles like a teakettle.

But I digress.

Maybe it’s best if some of us never even got into this rap shit. Think about it: there’s no kind of family structure, and the game has regressed into nothing more than people more than willing to tomahawk chop you in the back for their own comeuppance. Is it any wonder why crews don’t really exist anymore? I give props to the brothers Thornton for proving me wrong [2], however. If for anything, they’re proof that despite label drama, falling out with close friends [3] and having a career that’s seen more false starts than a deaf track and field runner, the family that stays together makes it together no matter what. We may be living in a new testament, but tomorrow is never guaranteed. And if I get popped like Omar did last night [4], then here’s to hoping that the ones I care about will be at my wake dressed in Dunks. I wouldn’t expect anything less.

[1] Crazy thing is, I ended up meeting someone spectacular a while back, only to fuck that up. Story of my life, I suppose.

[2] As well as the fact that there a lot of dope things from that region.

[3] If you’ve played We Got It For Cheap Vol. 3 as much as I have since it dropped, you’ll know what I mean.

[4] Yeah, I fucked it up for those that didn’t watch it. Sue me; I don’t like that show anyways.

42 Comments             

Blue Collar Poppin’

So because I’m impulsive like that, this past weekend I ended up copping an iPod Touch despite the fact is still haven’t used about half of the space on the iPod I bought from the Roadium [1] almost two years ago. In all honesty, I really don’t know what to do with the thing, but since I had already planned on getting one eventually I figured, “Fuck it! Let me spend my still-hasn’t-arrived tax refund on this bitch.” Two days later, the thing is still sitting in the box unopened because a) despite it’s age my old iPod still works pretty decently and b) since I’ll be moving from this shithole apartment in Inglewood to Downtown Los Angeles in two weeks I don’t really have the time to re-up some 80-plus playlists with about 2,700 songs into the thing.

But after buying the iPod I couldn’t help but wonder if people who end up getting extravagant baubles really get them for their own personal satisfaction or if they cop them to attract green eyes and big asses. I’ll not lie like I haven’t purchased anything– although it most likely supports turban-rocking terrorism – for the sole purpose of attracting the bidges, but when it got to the point I nearly started breaking the bank for these nappy-headed hoes, I changed that up.

You can’t really blame us for wanting to attract attention. Not only is it programmed into our genetics, but also it’s pretty much been the standard in rap ever since cats were wearing meatwatcher jeans in the 70s [||]. And thanks to a deteriorating public school system where the future are easily influenced by meaningless bleeps and bloops from minstrel rap, we’ve pretty much been trained and tricked into believing that materialistic baubles are a sufficient form of self-esteem. Had that been the case then, I probably wouldn’t be as half-depressed as I am now.

But who really cares what other people think about themselves anyways? That shit might have made sense when I was trying to dig out the Spirit Squad chicks in high school, but now that I’m closer to 30 than I am 20? I’d settle for a broad who can cook up a mean Shake ‘n Bake and red Kool-Aid right about now. Besides, that stunting shit is nothing more than overcompensations anyways: the equivalent of a guy driving a Murciélago because he pees on his nuts every night. By the way ladies, I’ve been driving the same 1996, scratched-up Toyota Camry with the “M” missing in the back for the past five years now. Get the message?

[1] B Clipse & Malcontent don’t leave me hanging on this one.

27 Comments             

Mighty Casey Presents: The Case For Obama, Part 2

When we last left off, Mighty Casey explained why you should vote for Barack. Now he breaks it down, piece by piece.

 

Black Folks:

Don’t vote for Obama because he’s black. By implicating that blacks were voting for Obama just because he’s black, the media is patronizing black people as a whole. As group, black people have shown extremely good judgment as voters. Blacks supported JFK in large numbers, opposed the Vietnam war, opposed Nixon, supported Carter (who in retrospect was an excellent president), opposed Reagan (who despite republicans best efforts to deify him, was an extreme asshole), supported Clinton, and voted against Bush 90-10 and opposed the war in Iraq. Pretty good choices huh?
Still there are some blacks amongst us who are not supporting Obama. This is puzzling why would African Americans vote for a white candidate who is less charismatic, less articulate, less believable who also voted to kill Iraqi civilians for no good reason, sending many young African American soldiers to their death and taking away resources from the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Even if you believe that Hillary Clinton would be an equal president to Obama, think of what a black president could do for our community. Obama would give a hero to young blacks whose only heroes are 50 Cent and Alan Iverson. Maybe more blacks would go to law school, run for office, have dreams of getting into politics, and believe that they could be anything, including president, rather than playing with a basketball all day or rapping and selling crack. Also Clinton (Bill) and by extension Hillary is a racist. After Obama won South Carolina, Bill Clinton said ‘yeah he ran a good campaign, just like Jesse Jackson did in 84 and 88’ Why the fuck is he bringing up Jesse Jackson???? What does Obama have to do with Jesse Jackson? What he is really saying is ‘Obama’s a nigger just like Jesse Jackson’s a nigger and like Jesse Jackson he won in South Carolina because there’s lots of niggers here and so did Obama and Just like Jesse Jackson he won’t get votes anywhere else cuz we don’t vote for niggers in the US’ Bill Clinton is not the 1st black president. I was down with bill before he said that. He reminds of the white guy whose real cool with black people until one of them tries to take his job or position, and then they become a nigger to him.


White Folks


1st off imagine that you had a white candidate with Obama’s charisma, qualifications and distinctions and tell me you wouldn’t vote for him. Admit y’all fucked up by getting Bush in office. If it wasn’t for the black vote, Bush would’ve won by a landslide both times. Even if the fact that Hillary voted for the war, or that she has the charisma of a Turtle hasn’t persuaded you vote for Obama, think of this. Both Bushes and Reagan have given white people a bad name across the globe. Given the fact that Obama’s father is from Africa and went to school in Indonesia Obama has the power not only to regain America’s popularity during the Clinton years but also to exceed it. We are competing with Russia and China for influence across the world and the face of America’s president is important. Obama already has a great deal of support around the world and it would be nice to see people across the world cheering for an American president. With his charisma and background, Obama could counter the influence of Islamic-fascism, which is very pervasive in Africa and the Middle East, and encourage those who may have hated the US to join our side.


Women

I feel you a woman in the White House would be a refreshing change just not Hilary. It is women who feel the pain when there husband died in Iraq. It is women who feel the pain when their family is killed by an errant predator missile, where is Hillary’s womanly compassion? Wouldn’t it be better to support a woman who earned the presidential the presidential nomination without having a famous ex president husband? If not for Bill Clinton would any of us even have heard of Hillary. Wouldn’t it be better to elect a woman who became elected and governed on her own merits, like Nancy Pelosi or Diane Feinstein? If Hillary wins everyone will be saying it’s because of Bill and if she runs the country every one would say that Bill’s still doing it. I think America should and will have a woman president. Oprah would make an excellent candidate (especially if Barrack wins). Angelina Jolie, due to her extensive international activism, also would make an excellent candidate. I doubt anyone would think that Stedman or dumb ass Brad Pitt was secretly running country.


Latinos

I understand that Hillary has been courting the Latino vote very aggressively. Don’t get gassed. If she wins she will turn on you quicker than rattlesnake to win the red states trust me it her m.o. Once she doesn’t need you it's off to do what she can to get elected. Obama is the child of an immigrant and has faced the same color based discrimination that all minorities have gone through in the states. Hillary flip flopped on the issue of drivers licenses for illegal aliens (which makes sense to anyone who’s ever been in a hit and run), and gives the right to drive (very important in America) to millions of undeclared Latinos) While Obama declared that he supported the right for illegals (how can a person be illegal) to drive. Don’t believe the hype once one of y’all try and take a job from the Clintons you’ll become just another spic to them just like Barack became another nigger.

38 Comments             

I’m Calling Bullshit On Valentine’s Day

I was gonna slap up the other part of Mighty Casey’s reasoning on why we should all vote for Barry to run this half-decrepit country further into the ground this morning, but I realized that today is the Hallmark-sponsored Valentine’s Day. While I’ll spare you the depressingly hilarious details at my own failed attempts at love, it’s somewhat comforting to see that I’m not the only one who can’t get it right for shit as well.

Still for all my overtly-emotional tendencies, I’ve tried to remain optimistic about my chances of landing someone who’s actually dumb enough to step into the world of a semi-anonymous writer that hardly cooks, cleans or talks to them, but has a decent-paying job, no priors or child support payments to make and can deliver the internal hugs like no other. The perfect man, I tells ya.

(For all six women who still read my shit who’d still be happy to place some stank on my hang low, the e-mail’s right under my eyeball.)

Many moons ago, I actually contemplated stepping to the mic on some aspiring rapper shit; that is, until I realized my erstwhile Igbo accent tends to pop up every once in a while (particularly when I’m drunk. Go figure), thus rendering any form of intimidation irrelevant. Thank God(dess) for that Bachelor’s degree collecting dust in my mother’s closet, otherwise it’d probably be nigh impossible for me to land any paying gig outside of Albanian phone sex operator or some wild shit.

In a sense, not being able to rap should have put me in a better place in the game of porking women (boy was I wrong!), as I don’t have to keep a Max Payne-style grimace on my face every single day as if I welcomed the stinging kiss of a bullet across my forehead with open arms. Because let’s face it, people: having a chick on your arm, although inexplicably hypocritical, alludes to some sort of Twinkie middle softness within a rapper.

So if it’s rather quasi to have a wiz (although by the looks of this picture I beg to differ, though it may just be retarded) why the fuck would I take these yentas’ advice on how to treat a woman on Valentine’s Day, as they are always plum to give around this time? It’s one thing to tell me how to handle a ratchet when you rhyme about it, but listening to a Rick Ross of sorts tell me how to woo a (non-existent) lady actually makes me chortle a little bit in my mouth. By that logic, I guess next time I need advice on money management I should look to the wisdom of Dame Dash, right?

I guess if there’s anything to learn from this shit it’s just to do you (not like that) and be yourself. We’re all perfect imperfections in this world, and despite my foul trains of thoughts I still believe there’s someone for everyone out there. Just don’t let these mucklucks tell you how to get them though. We all may not be combinations of Raphael Saadiq and Immortal Technique, but we're all worthy of someone.

 

Happy Hallmark day, everyone.

DOWNLOAD: Notorious B.I.G. - Me & My Bitch 

48 Comments             

Mighty Casey Presents: The Case For Obama

This is a multi-part series since it's too long for you yentas to stay awake in one setting. So I'll be back when you all have been informed to fuck all that shit up.


I know a lot of people are cynical about voting. People have felt disenfranchised by the political system and powerless to the changes the government makes. However votes are extremely important, you might no be able to see the results right away but they matter a lot in the long term. People sacrificed and died so that black people could have the right to vote. Voting determines what money is spent where, our foreign policy, and the direction of our country. In the US voting not only counts for what happens here at home but what happens abroad as well. While the millions of Iraqis, Palestinians, Kenyans, Sudanese and people all over the world are affected by the foreign policy of America they have no influence on it. It's our duty as citizens of the world to use our votes to end genocide, oppression, war and the destruction of our environment. Malcolm X said there are two alternatives to social and political change the ballot or the bullet. So if pissed off about what’s going on and you ain’t busting your gun the least you can do is vote. Peter Tosh (prolly someone b4 him too) said that if you’re not part of the solution, then your part of the problem. So all those who claim they hate the government, but don’t vote your part to end the oppression and injustice that the government brings both get your gun and get gully or vote with the rest of us. I realize that b4 we have not had 2 many viable candidates but I always have voted for the lesser of 2 evils with the hope that there may eventually be a good candidate (and maybe there is)


Why You should vote for Obama

My mother gave me Barrack Obama’s book, Dreams of My Father, in 2004. I found it to be an interesting and good read. He was open an honest about his drug use in the past (admitted he inhaled), talked about growing up mixed with a Kenyan Father and white mother and the racism and discrimination he had to face. He also talked about his time at Columbia University and how he changed form a party type to a workaholic. He went on to Harvard Law School where he became the 1st African American to be the editor of the Harvard Law Journal (most prestigious law journal in America Rather than taking a 6 figure corporate job on wall street as many Harvard Law school graduates, he worked as a community organizer in Chicago working with underprivileged youth and layed off steel workers. Soon after he worked as a lawyer in Chicago before being elected to the state senate, advocating for the poor minority community he was representing, going on to become the 1st black senator since reconstruction. So he is intelligent and qualified enough to hold the position.

 

Obama’s charisma and ability to move and motivate people is undeniable to. He has the ‘swagger’ of a Jay-Z, Kennedy, Denzel or Sinatra which commands peoples respect and attention and is an excellent attribute for a leader. He has the speaking ability of a MLK or JFK, both of whom managed to inspire and change a nation. One of the main reasons to support Barrack Obama is to discredit the past 8 years of the Bush administration. Of all the presidential candidates besides Ron Paul, Obama is the only one on record opposing the war before it started. Obama’s speech outlined what we all no today, that we were being conned into an unnecessary war with unknown consequences. He made the speech at a time when support for George Bush and the war was at an all time high, risking his political career. Hillary Clinton voted for the war, never spoke out against it allowing millions of Iraqi deaths, and thousands of dead American soldiers with many more wounded. Even today as recently as last week Hillary was on MTV defending her vote to go to war in Iraq giving the same bush Cheney rhetoric on how he was a threat…blah blah. Senators Edwards, Kerry and Dodd all have admitted that voting for the war was a mistake (Edwards even said it was the biggest mistake of his life). We should have learned from Bush that a leader who cannot admit their mistakes and learn from them is not a good leader to have. During Clinton’s 8-year stay in the senate has she once stood up against, the war, torture, Guantanamo Bay, warrantless wire-tapping? Not only has the war cause the destruction of human life and the country of Iraq creating havoc in the Middle East but it has cost use countless money more than 300 Billion. Do you know how many schools could be built, roads fixed, college tuitions, people fed with 300 Bill? Maybe if the National Guard was in Louisiana where they should’ve been, instead of Iraq, countless lives could have been saved and homes restored. I knew the case for war was bullshit, all my friends new the case for war was bullshit most crackheads on my block new the case was bullshit, so why couldn’t Hillary.



Since the media is so quick to divide the country into different demographics I will try and encourage people from all those demographics on why they should vote for Obama.

 

To be continued...

13 Comments             

Viva La White Girl!

I just always like to have a reason for putting this song up: Gym Class Heroes – Viva La White Girl

If you knew me in college some four years ago (and who didn’t, as I was quite the ladies’ slore), chances are that you’d see my eyes (among other body parts) strictly pointed towards my dark-skinned, mammary-blessed counterparts, and for the most part I felt I’d end up bringing home a Tamaqua or something similar home to moms because let’s face it, Black people are probably the only peoples who’ll beat the brakes off another Black person if they even think about looking at a person of another ethnicity, whereas Whites will just consider you an outcast and make a movie about "the power of love" or some quasi shit.

And for a while, I’ll admit I was one of those humps that perfected a side eye on an interracial relationship. Not to say that I’m racist or anything, but I always assumed that the blacker the berry, the tighter the... you can finish the rest. Not to say I would know if that theory is true or false either, because quite honestly I haven’t strayed away from the black-hand side.

That’s also not to say that I wouldn’t try it either. Hell, if anybody says they wouldn't I’d have to seriously question their sexuality, because regardless of ethnicity they’re all pink on the inside. Am I right, people?

Now that I’ve effectively eliminated any and all hope for a Valentine, I bring this up because it seems like there’s been an increasing influx of men and women of different backgrounds (read tar baby and honky [1]) coagulating on some Rainbow Coalition-type shit. And in all honesty it’s quite comforting to see that nobody has gotten a shank pressed to their jugular or chained to the back of a rusty pickup because of it.

I bring these random-ass ramblings up because of two interesting things I came across the past few days. Last week at the job I ended up conversing with one of only a few YT women that made me do a double-take (outside of Nikki Cox circa Unhappily Ever After and Lexx. Sorry, Shake). Have you ever seen those women that are just bad for no reason? Not bad, but bad? Like good fucking Lord, she’s bad as shit? I’ll be honest; I haven’t done a spit-take for any woman since, like, last June or some shit. And whereas I’d be questioning my own integrity towards my peoples that time I couldn’t be bothered to give a shit, because I’ve gotten past the point where people should not gentrify their ideals to match what their particular community believes is the ideal thing. To paraphrase what I’ve said before, we’re all one color on the inside.

The second (and way more hilarious) occurrence came in the form of a news clip that stated that YTs would eventually become the minority by the year 2050. Granted I get to live that long to see if this will actually happen – which I probably won’t considering I ate about four honey buns for dinner last night – one must wonder if the so-called rules of the game will also change. Real talk, if I could see just one crap shack “Crackers Only” water fountain in my lifetime, I honestly think I’d die happy.

[1] Are those “banned” words also? Maybe some hump from “back there” can clue me in again.

70 Comments             

Black On Black: Why?

When I finally escaped the morally deficient labyrinth known as college almost four years ago I honestly believed I was fully ready for the so-called real world, as not only did I have experience in a field I enjoyed, I had a loving girlfriend who had stuck by my side for well over two years and that all-important piece of paper which signified that my six years [1] of bullshit jobs, tedious classes and janky financial aid practices that forced me at one point to literally give blood to pay off a speeding ticket were all worth it. I’d land a well-paying gig, settle down into a typical hubby-esque lifestyle with the wifey and maybe hump out a couple grandkids for my moms.

The problem with that neophyte train of thought is that I was never ready for that “real world” without the safety cocoon of campus life, parental support and all that other Hakuna Matata bullshit that enveloped me for those years. Soon enough I was back at my mom’s basement, lost my wiz and was reduced to pushing off 300 thread count sheets and a plethora of shit I couldn’t afford with my middling paychecks at Macy’s for eight bucks an hour.

The crazy thing about this is that I – perhaps due to a more militant lifestyle in college – felt that if I continued to believe in my convictions that my, errr, peers would eventually take me to that picket-fenced promised land, so once I landed a gig as a junior publicist I instantly thought that working with my dark-skinned brethren would be sweet. Unfortunately, after some eight months of shoddy pay and constant berating, I took the fuck off with nothing more than an increased cynical attitude towards life.

While those years are all but behind me that outlook still remains to this day. So I’m a little hard-pressed to support my own Diaspora-influenced peoples when so many allow themselves to be subjected to such wild bullshit.  Take for instance this new Flavor Flav “show” soon to debut. While usually I don’t care too much about this soon-to-be train wreck being “news-worthy” during the supposed  month-long dedication to all things porch monkey (Martin Luther King! Malcolm X! Bryant Gumbel!), without divulging too much information of how a portion of the script landed on my desk a week before I even knew what it was. Let’s just say it read as if it should have been a Robot Chicken sketch than an actual television show, and if I happen to run into one of the writers I’d gladly give the Holy Hand of Fire for thinking of that shit. A new-millennium Fresh Prince? More like a 2008 stale jester to me.

It still surprises me at times that humps will do whatever to garner a few slave owner trading cards in their bank account. While I do realize that at the end of the day it’s about how to keep the roof over our heads, it’s still amazing to see how so many peoples are really willing to sacrifice their self-respect.

But who am I to talk? I’m just a lonely blogger who still gets wasted like a college kid every now and then.

[1] I spent two years fucking off in junior college, or as I like to call it, the 13th grade. The stories I have... those were the days.

18 Comments             

Fat Joe: The Worst Southern Rapper Of All Time

In case you didn’t know, the month of February is not only “Black” History Month it’s also ideal for a rapper, what with so many of them taking an early visit to the pearly gates around this time. It’s amazing that in this shortened month so many talented artists have had their breath taken away like Berlin, from Lost Boyz hype man Freaky Tah to Harlem underworld’s Big L to, of course, J Dilla. In case you also didn’t know, today just so happens to be the eighth anniversary of one Big Punisher’s death.

Despite my, ahem, earlier allegations that the Big Moon Dawg may have met his maker from Pimp C-ing on pork rinds, I’ve always considered Pun to be one of the last of the premier East Coast rappers of all time. And, similar to my favorite rapper’s way-too-early death, he was gone before he had a chance to really make an indelible mark in music. What’s sad though is that upon listening to his second album again, you can truly hear Pun struggling to keep up with the beats most times as if fighting for his last breath with each bar, whereas Capital Punishment was a flawless display of lyrical gymnastics. “Tres Leches?” Fucking nasty.

Even sadder than that was what happened to Fat Joe after Pun passed. Before Pun, Fat Joe was nothing more than a DITC piff pocketer, occasionally given a few bars to display how mediocre, at best, his rhyme schemes were. However, his rhymes got a considerable upgrade once he started hanging around Pun, so much so that he almost – dare I say it – came off like Punisher, as if he stole a few pages out his rhyme book or something (hmmm...). Even more coincidental is the fact that as soon as Pun bounced – followed by the disintegration of the Terror Squad into perhaps the worst rap group of all time [1] – Joey Crack’s raps pretty much went further south than Nat Turner’s [2] tongue on some random-ass, mentally destroyed skig skag in any random “episode” of Black Street Hookers.

I guess due to the fact that either New Yorkers are quick to turn on their own or are somewhat smarter than their recent standardized test score result let on to sniff out bullshit, Fat Joe eventually moved down to Miami – basically a cocaine cowboy-ridden swamp marsh of horrible rappers – and eventually bested, inexplicably, the likes of Jackie-O and motherfucking JT Money of all people, as the preeminent shitbag of Southern rap. I’m not even sure if the denizens in the South are aware of how god-awful he sounds, though my hope is that they’re trying to silence that Persian Bib the Michelin Man’s nonsensical deadpans about being the best or some shit. Or perhaps they’re just flat-out scared of him; it seems that everyone he’s in close contact with catches either a bad one, whether it’s Cuban Link getting the Wolverine treatment, Remy Ma putting a couple slugs in her weave holder’s liver or those two weed carriers that sat with Fat Joe in a SUV and ended up getting shot the fuck up last year, or their careers go nowhere fast. But maybe that was New York’s plan all along: to dump the dead weight to make room for better talent. Hell, they’re already getting off to a great 2008.

***

I have a miniature tribute to Big Pun over at the side hustle. Feel free to check it out.

[1] You would think with all those Latinos, one of those humps would have made his way to the rose bushes of Jay-Z or something. I’m just saying.

[2] I still can’t believe somebody in porn goes by the name of Nat fucking Turner.

89 Comments             

Get It For Cheap!

You know you want it. New blog tomorrow.

6 Comments             

50 cent • bet • common • crooked i • dope • ghostface • hip hop • jay z • jay-z • kanye west • lil wayne • little brother • mixtape • music • nas • nino bless • phonte • racism • rap • stimuli • talib kweli • termanology • ugk • videos • west coast