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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Licensed To Swing

Food for thought for you little yentas: is it alright to fight a woman who acts like a guy? I’ve always gone by the theory that you should never fight a woman unless it’s only in self-defense, but I’m a little hard-pressed when it comes to those dude-girls that remind me of an effeminate Daddy Mack. I mean, I know it’s a woman, but when they go all Baby D from Next Friday and act like they have a set to begin with, does that make it okay to scrap with them like you would a guy?

A good case study would be something like that chick in the YouTube that said Remy Ma ate her box. Excuse me for a second...

* Throws up a little bit in mouth *

Yeah, just thinking about that visual makes my retinas detach. Anyways, after trying to stomach through that “interview,” [1] the whole thing had me wondering about the state of gender reversal in today’s Fast Food Nation-esque hip-hop scene. It’s bad enough when you have a bunch of quasi-homosexuals running around talking about killing babies and smooching surrogate fathers and whatever sideways-fruity shit, but now we have women who are more thugged out than their male counterparts. What’s next, rappers getting the panties in a bunch over a joke?

Waitaminute...

Man, that was pretty bitchmade. Shad Gregory Moss lost.

Anyways, I’ve always felt that – if necessary and there was absolutely no other choice – to fire off on a woman if it is in self-defense. But whenever I see one of these dude-girls, I honestly think it’s perfectly fine to cut a rug Ashy Knucks style should it actually get the gall to try to take it to that next level. You see, my theory has always been that if you want to get treated like a guy, then by all means you should get knocked the fuck out like one as well. I’ll be got dayumed if some bulldog dyke tries to Spike me like it’s the thing to do. I wish that would happen and me not react.

Real talk if a woman wants to dress, act, talk and look the part of male, they should receive the same respect men get; meaning, they should get taxed for child support, cracked over the head by the baton of a crooked-ass cop and – most importantly – slapped out by another man if they want to run up on him like one. Not only do I feel it’s right, it’s also the American Way. Otherwise, we’ll be having a fuckload of he-bitches running around thinking shit is sweet, letting random muh’fucks creep up on their asses. Pause, no Mickey Avalon of course.


[1] I swear, you give some random-ass clown a Handicam and he’s suddenly the next Morgan Spurlock.

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