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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Kinda Sorta, Not Really

A few days ago “celebrated,” belligerent fat ass Jason Whitlock wrote some wild shit about the existence of a Black KKK going around ethering fellow knee grows like a live action version of Grand Theft Auto, and that rap music played a part in his death. After my partner in rhyme Ms. Bassa called out the skin borrower for his seemingly ig’nant comments, I actually had to check his shit out to see if there was any semblance of validity in it because, as you know, I’m all about journalistic integrity.

Turns out my mixed, future ex-lover, while her intentions were in the right direction, may have misunderstood the undertones of Mr. Whitlock’s skewed verbiage. Now before the used tampon rockers that live to disagree with my shit attempt to go all Ghetto Gaggers per usual (naux haux maux) and call me all kinds of gobbledy gookshit, allow me to explain my disposition.

*Waits for Eagles game to finish* Stupid fucking AJ Feely. Anyways...

Blaming hip-hop for making four men who aren’t even old enough to drink legally kill another human being may seem outlandish at first, but at the same time it could have perhaps inadvertently provided inspiration for the act, not unlike how Bret “The Hitman” Hart’s Sharp Shooter bestowed Lionel Tate with the knowledge to accidentally stomp his 6 year old sister to death some eight years ago. I’m pretty sure everyone in this blogging section has felt some way that rap music could actually prove detrimental to society somewhat. In a sense, I’d actually prefer the bullshit snap, crackle and pop rap of today; while they’re not really saying anything of substance, at least they’re not telling the listeners to smack the flames out of somebody’s ass.

Well, except Soulja Boy. But can you blame him? He’s just happy to finally afford a pair of bootleg Bapes.

But at the same time that logic is pretty flimsy, although the events of Censorgate would like you to believe otherwise. Seriously, if these four dumbasses actually took the words of MC MurderDeathKillHomicide to heart, can you really place the blame on the words of a rapper over their moms’ & pops’ shoddy parenting skills? Way the fuck in the beginning of this section, our very own aliya ewing pledged to raise her seed to know the rights and wrongs of this rap shit. If she can do it with relative ease, who’s to say that the alleged killers’ own gods and earths couldn’t do the same as well? Granted there could be a discourse between the two if Ms. ewing was born into hip-hop and their parents were not but seriously people, how hard is it to tell your kid that robbing somebody could quite possibly get you a lifetime’s worth of tea bags [1] from your bedmate regardless of your education? There’s a reason a good chunk of these motherfuckers end up getting locked or shot the fuck up. But I digress.

Interestingly enough, I essentially defeated my original hypothesis – that rap could be to blame – as I wrote this thing. But honestly, that’s how rap is supposed to work; a constant struggle to prove itself to the naysayers. But leave it to people like Jason Whitlock to wrongly tar and feather the entire hip-hop culture without thinking rationally. I may spit my fair share of grease but I at least know the difference between right and wrong, and I didn’t have to listen to rap to know that.

[1] I still can’t believe this link works, eight months after I posted it.

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