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  • » Name: Meka Soul
  • » Location: Los Angeles, CA
  • » Member Since: 04/09/07
  • » Bio: Providing clarity in hip-hop since 1981.
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Internets Fuckery


November 14, 2007 | Tags: none
Want to hear a funny story?

Way the fuck back in my man-whore days when I had learned that using the Internets to yoke music was easier on my feet than running up in the local Circuit City and snatching tapes, one of my friends in junior college introduced me to this “social networking” site called Black Planet, and how his “cyber-hollering” led to an occasional bedroom romp with some random-ass hood rat he’d find on the damn thing. So naturally, I joined that bitch [1] with the hopes that I could get me some grade-A ass.

A few months into it I managed to wrangle a broad whom I’d thought was pretty dope. She was well educated, had a good job, puffed cheeba sticks and (from the looks of the pictures) had ass for days, not to mention very, errr, frank about her sexual prowess. I guess it’s true what they say about women who smoke loosies, but I digress.

We finally agreed to meet up one night to go see some Disney/Pixar movie that slips my mind at the moment. As soon as she stepped out of the door, I instantly thought of throwing my hooptie into D, as she looked just plain gross: ugly, dyed-blond hair, those painted eyebrows that women wetbacks usually paint on their foreheads and about 30 pounds heavier than her pictures suggested. Kerry Washington she sure as shit was not.

In any matter, I begrudgingly went along with the date because I’m a gentleman like that. And while her photographic representations were a few years old she was extremely right about her present-day knob-shining techniques, as she proved it to me in the theatre.

The point of this story? After my experience, my trust in the Internets (and women) more or less waned, as it can be nothing more than a place of lies where anybody could come across as the toughest talker in the (cyber) hood when in actuality they’re more bitch-made than period blood. But if it’s one thing I’ve noticed (and forgive me if I come across as “racist,” but I’m just calling it how I see it), it’s that White people (and some kites) are more susceptible to going batshit about what people spew on here. Case in point: a while back I’d mentioned how some YT fire fighter had tracked down, traveled over a thousand miles to and tried to burn down the house of some Internets heckler while he was still inside. And most recently, I found this article (on the message boards of all places) on how some parents used MySpace to fuck with a teenage girl, essentially causing her to hang herself. I may be a fucked up bigot, but even I’ll admit that that’s wrong. If parents of all people are contributing to the problem, who’s to say that silencing self-righteous asshole idiots like myself is the solution?


But I suppose this is how the world we all inhabit works. When I think about it, sometimes I actually convince myself to lighten up the mood in my playground... for about four seconds. Then the cynical side of me comes back out to remind me that these fucktards either need to relax or - in some cases - be hugged on the inside. Pause, of course.

***
On a semi-related note (as I found it while “researching” for this post), this is one of the funniest (in a detrimental to society kind of way) shits ever.


[1] I just checked to see if my page still exists. Yes, it does. No, I won’t give you schlubs a link to it.
The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the writer and not necessarily those of HipHopDX.com or Cheri Media Group.

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