October 25, 2007 | Tags: none
In case the humps who aren’t living in the West Coast don’t know what’s going on, Southern California is in the midst of one of the worst firestorms since, I don’t know, the Cedar Fires of 2003, when one Sergio Martinez (of course) had gotten lost while “hunting” and thought it would be a great idea to start burning timber to signal rescuers, torching nearly 300,000 acres in the process.
You know, if the governor really wanted to curb the influx of fence-hoppers coming over and yoking jobs from tax-paying assholes like myself, trying to burn them is not particularly the best idea. But it's not like I don't have any bright ideas anyways, so whatever.
It’s gotten quite a bit of airtime over here, so much so that it sometimes cancels out some of the few shows I watch on the television. In essence this lack of quality programming should compel me to pursue a more active lifestyle, but seeing as how I spend more time on my computer than in the sunlight, I could more or less give a shit.
So lately I’ve found myself flipping to channels I’d originally boycott, as the shows on them have been scientifically proven (by me, nonetheless) to give its viewers eye herpes: Bojangles Entertainment Television and MTV. While I’m thoroughly convinced that BET will never be good for the children while its underwear-with-the-dickhole-wearing, closet lesbian CEO is running shit [1], I’m a bit hard-pressed to believe that MTV is partially, if not entirely, responsible for music’s currently shitty climate, if not society as a whole.
In BET’s defense, there’s still an adequate amount of music videos that come on during the day, albeit the spectacularly shitty ones. Since MTV has essentially eschewed music videos for fruitbags tongue-throttling each other on shoddy
Flavor Of Love knock-offs, piss-poor dating shows and the like, even the dumbest of window lickers could see that the channel has fucked with America’s collective conscience, perhaps irreparably changing it.
In that sense, it’s easy to see why, say, I’m more likely to get passed over for a job for some dude-dressing dyke [2], because although we both like pussy, having the BuFu Fix isn’t quite on my radar. But perhaps the systematic mind wipe of MTV is a small plot in a larger scheme. With so many fruits and retards running around on the regular, it may provide ample distraction from what’s going on in the real world, causing right-wing pundits and ambulance-chasing truthers to treat insanely stupid topics like the n-word as if it were a harbinger of dissonance. But maybe that’s the conspiracy theorist in me talking.
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Speaking of MTV, guess who's bizzack![1] I assume she would be the channel's tall Israeli, but I’m pretty sure the real TIs (and real men in general) wouldn’t allow a woman to run a major faction. Besides, you know how Black people like to run shit into the ground.
[2] Oh, I got something for them.
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