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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Why Barry Won’t Win

In one of my earliest posts here on this small section of the Internets, I briefly entertained the political affairs of the two major presidential frontrunners of the Democratic National Party – Hilary Rodham-Clinton and Barack Obama. Far be it for me to be the go-to pundit when it comes to such discussions – as I barely give a shit about them since I already know my vote is worth about as much as a Chihuahua in a Ron Mexico-sponsored kennel match, and thus will probably be too busy looking at porn to even bother voting - but I originally said that I’d vote for Barry off the strength that he used to snort coke back in the day and, of course, is half monkey (honky?).

Now that I think about it though, I may have jumped the gun too early on duke. While I’m probably better off explaining a Cover 2 defense than this shit, part of my reasoning behind that harebrained decision was influenced because of Barry’s backing by some of your favorite rappers. I highly doubt that receiving the blessings of Common and Talib Kweli means much, especially since the half-honky (hanky?) just isn’t a good candidate to begin with.

After reading about his inexperience and seeing him stumble in a few debates, it doesn’t take much to see that Barry is really not the ideal candidate, no matter how many rappers drop his name in their raps. Similarly, Hilary probably could run things better than Obama, as her rap sheet in New York would suggest, but I honestly don’t think she’d be too good a president also. Not to sound like a chauvinistic pig, as I don’t really care for a female president (or any president for that matter), but let’s face it people: we can’t possibly expect her to run an entire country without making decisions on certain issues she caught feelings for, not to mention she has a pink elephant’s chance in Hell of winning the damn thing to boot, what with there being a shitload of NO MA’AM members running wild in Congress. But I digress.

The main reason why I know Barry won’t win? His so-called affiliation with the hip-hop culture, which in reality is nothing more vapid as Oprah’s excuse for liking rap music because she plays “In The Club” every once in a while. But with everybody blaming hip-hop for damn near the death of Black Jesus, that same co-sign could lead to his downfall, because you know that his opponents will spin that shit in the worst way possible. And hip-hop has never been represented fairly in the public image anyways, punctuated by the likes of Cam’Ron and Damon Dash defending the shit on The O’Reilly Factor a few years ago (which has got to be the funniest moment in television ever). But, who knows; maybe he can pull that shit off. Bill Clinton did it, and he secretly hated the shit [1]. Word to Sister Souljah.

[1] I can't believe he tricked the Black public into thinking he loves them with that Aresnio Hall bullshit. Black people stay losing.

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