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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Maybe They CAN Do That...

Quick, unrelated-to-the-topic-at-hand question: how many of you humps know that this weekend (Saturday, to be exact) is the sixth anniversary of Aaliyah’s death? Another question: how many humps just remembered it after I said it?

So while I expected yesterday’s post about the woman’s reluctance to accept the sometimes-demeaning trials men face in their never-ending quest for social equality to be filled with the comically inept jibba jabba from spammers, e-thugs, false prophets and fake-ass muses, one unforeseen occurrence I assumed would never happen was me stepping out on a female. So in that sense, apologies go to jussagirl for my comments yesterday.

At the same time, her response in regards to the alleged “independent woman” piqued my interest somewhat. With so many proclaiming they do not need a man more often than not, it’s pretty contradictory to me that since women need that manly essence to produce a child they’d need a guy, at least in the literal, indirect manner.

In my nihilistic ideals however, a woman claiming they do not need a man is nothing more than a crock-load of shit (unless you’re a lesbian, but that’s a topic for another time, as I’m just as, if not more, confused as A.H.L.O.T. is about the shit altogether). Far be it for me to say anything about this (as my status with the ladies is legendarily sub-mediocre), but I thought that if women were looking for something to love an honor them as, well as putting a dent in their life-bearing vestibules every now and then to show said love and honor, would they not need a man to fill those figurative (and literal, of course) shoes then [1]?

But perhaps this is a sign that the woman’s demands for an equal social status is on the horizon a lot closer than we think. I’ve already seen that women are beginning to be more gullier than men [2] in the sense that they’re more likely to pop a cannon into somebody’s stomach, not to mention that guys are finally starting to tax them for half their shit and child support during divorce proceedings [3]. But now it seems like they’re not as susceptible to catching a jail sentence or a prison term anymore, as in the cases of Foxy Brown and Shesus Khryst Superstar herself, Remy Ma. Maybe I’m just looking to deep into it (as I tend to from time to time), but if more women are willing to take the good alongside the bad, perhaps then will those lines be erased, and women won’t have to bark out to anyone about their self-aggrandized “independence” anymore [4].

[1] I’m calling shenanigans on any woman who thinks she can supplant a man with a dog or sex toy.

[2] It also doesn’t help that the line that separates the difference between men and women is more blurry than ever before, what with all that quasi-sensitive,  “pink cookies in a plastic bag” bullshit popping up, but I digress.

[3] While I’m on the topic, why is it that while a woman won’t need a man for anything in a divorce, they’ll gladly accept half his shit as a consolation prize? Not only is that hypocritical to me, but also just fucking wrong.

[4] Let’s face it, people: if an “independent” woman didn’t “need a man” as they proclaim, they wouldn’t need to say that shit out loud in the first place.

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