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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

B.E.T.: WTF?

A couple days ago I caught two surprisingly decent shows on hipster programming-turned-minstrel system, VH1: ego trip’s Illest Minority Moments and The Last Days of Left Eye.  Although the folks at ego trip will be known more for that “reality” show where OG cracka-ass rapper MC Serch made asses of a shitload of other marginally talented cracka-ass rappers by making them race around some random-ass New York neighborhood beating rat-shaped piñatas and what have you, their magazine was also responsible for shaping how many hip-hop publications work today in terms of their forward thinking and, ahem, shit-talking. I really didn’t find Last Days too interesting, but I was a bit stunned for words when they literally showed the final seconds of Left Eye’s life, cutting the footage right when Left Eye’s car began to spin out of control. I even had to rewind that shit a couple times because I didn’t believe it. Needless to say, it was pretty heart wrenching.

It’s interesting how once-starch stiff channels are slowly embracing the hip-hop culture, albeit in a sometimes ass-backwards setup. It was hard for me to look at Ludacris seriously on that one Law & Order episode when a week prior he was fighting gingivitis on The Simpsons.  And while 60 Minutes has shown more rap-related content (although it started popping up more often after Ed Bradley was ethered. Coincidence?), I’m not sure if having Cam’Ron explaining the “stop snitching” phenomenon helped matters. Asinine, but progress nonetheless.

So even after all of this publicity, you would think that the original channel for it would be its ideal representation, but sadly that’s not the case. It’s sad how Black Entertainment Television has become the conduit for the more retarded symbols of hip-hop, if not black culture as a whole. I remember College Hill more for the time that one chick got her cranium cracked by her roommate than for the actual people on the show. Replacing their news programming with old, edited episodes of The Wire has definitely got to be one of the dumber moves the network has done. And anybody who refers to the city of Baldwin Hills as a “black Beverly Hills” has got to be out of their fucking mind. For those who are unfamiliar with the city, it’s essentially a few blocks away from one of the roughest neighborhoods in Southern California, a town lovingly referred to as “The Jungles.”

What is sad now is that before Bob Johnson decided to cash out to own that shitty Charlotte basketball team, B.E.T. was probably the most influential channel since MTV. Mixing equal parts music, news, comedy and politics encompassed what hip-hop was about. But once Bob sold the shit to the tall Israelis, all of that went down the shitter, replacing icons like Rachel and Jacque Reid (how fine were they?) with fruity-ass Big Tigger and BET UnCut. In the latter’s defense though, I’ve never laughed so hard in my life, and “What Dat Thing Smell Like” still gets play in my iPod, but I digress. I already knew something wasn’t right when Little Brother – a Southern rap group of all people –  couldn’t get play on that shit, and that channel plays virtually any half-assed shit song. Webbie, anyone?

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