• » Name: Meka Soul
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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Why Hip-Hop Won’t Make It

Question: has there been any rap album that’s sold over 500,000 copies this year? It seems that nowadays rappers are too busy catching cases and eye jammies in clubs to notice that they’re not selling shit in the stores. It’s gotten to the point where the Wu-Tang Clan are dropping their new album in Germany of all places, where selling 100,000 records gets them a platinum plaque.

It’s easy to throw the blame on the illegal downloading and bootlegging. It’s a lot simpler to grab something from the Internets now than from Paco the peanut pusher in the past. Shit, I’ve only bought maybe three albums since 2005. But when a rapper’s mixtape is better than their major label counterpart, can you really blame anyone for not wanting to drop $10.81 or more on a shit sammich? Office politics aren’t doing anything to quell the situation either, as delaying an album all but ethers whatever buzz a rapper had [1].

Speaking of shit, part of it could deal with the fact that music stinks to high Hell right now. Quality has been replaced with quantity, and now most rappers are more concerned with getting the most spins at a titty bar (what up Strokers!) while proving to the world that running around shirtless and covered in tattoos of their surrogate father/life partner isn’t quasi-homosexual as long as they keep ratchets in their back pocket (extra extra pause!) than delivering a potent product. Not that I don’t mind that much; it may not get any play in the car my mom gave me, but it sure as shit will guarantee me a dry-humping session at Jamaica Gold on Sunday nights. I can do without the brassiere tops, however.

I don’t know if hip-hop will find a way to pick itself out of its Yankees-style slump. But with the way things are going, it looks like even I could get a record deal, granted I take a few courses at Black Rapping School. I probably wouldn’t sell shit either, but at least I could afford all the white girls I could eat. I’m just saying.

Let’s just hope this shit picks up soon. Otherwise, I’ll be back to pushing off pots and pans at Macy’s again [2].

[1] I was thiiiiis close to not buying Clipse’s and Lupe Fiasco’s joints. It’s not like my purchases mattered anyway; they both sold worse than “Sultry Funk.”

[2] But it wouldn’t be due to the FIRE MEKA SOUL chants. Those shits haven’t done anything to stop my reign.

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