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Slap-Boxing With Jesus

Barack vs. Hilary: An inside look at 2008’s Democratic nominees.

Now before I get into this thing, I'd like to say that I don't personally follow politics, nor do i really give two shits about it. I find it much more fulfilling pulling ingown hairs out of my chest than catching up on American affairs. In 2000 (my first year of eligibility), I voted for Bill Clinton's weed carrier, only to see him lose due to a variety of bullshit, and in 2004 I voted for the Heinz ketchup (catsup?) pimp, only to see him fall via the same bullshit. Needless to say, I could give a shit about who runs this country since we're all screwed no matter who does [1].

However, the upcoming 2008 presidential race has the potential to be the most interesting - and quite possibly important - one to happen [2], what with two potential candidates vying to be the first non-white male to capture the title. So I thought I'd throw my two cents into the mix.

I didn't know much of Barack (or Barry, if you will) Obama outside the fact that he's, well, a Halfrican in the U.S. Senate who used to do blow and weed back in the day. Granted, his keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention warmed over a lot of palefaces (as well as convinced them that he's about as harmless as a Life Saver) and threw his name out there more prevalently, but honestly I was too busy pushing off pots & pans at Macy's to really care at the time. So a quick Wikipedia search tells me that he was born to a Kenyan father & white mother [3], raised some ruckus in his "home country" & did some business with an extortionist in Illinois.

Sounds like my kinda guy (no T-Pain)!

Meanwhile, Hilary has always been known as the prototype for ride-or-die chicks (what with Bill too busy tea-bagging fat, ugly whores all day long while reducing the national debt), and she rode that wave ino being elected Senator of New York, a position she's held since 2000. She's currently tied with Barak for support among like Democratic voters.

So who to choose? I guess if I had to, I'd pick Barack off the strength that he's "black" (don't front). Then again, Hilary let her husband get sucked off from three different broads without as much as a peep. But we all know that shit won't matter come election time when the Bush regime finds yet another way to finagle the White House out from under us. Perhaps Diddy & Russell can get the so-called "hip-hop" voters in on the action while finding a way to make money off them simultanteously. They already got me once.

[1] Hell, I care more about being able to leave my city without being snuffed, robbed or shot than this shit.

[2] Come on now, did you really think Jesse "Hymietown" Jackson or Al "Sweet Daddy Grace" Sharpton stood a chance?

[3] And as we all know, once an African leaves his country for the first time, his first goal is to knock up the first white lady he sees. Being Nigerian myself, I've been a witness to this.

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