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  • » Name: William E. Ketchum III
  • » Location: East Lansing, MI
  • » Member Since: 04/12/07
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Speech Is My Hammer...

Man, Phuck R. Kelly.


August 11, 2008 | Tags: none

Man, fuck R. Kelly.

I've been on my anti-Kels tip for a while, now. Much of it, naturally, was based on his entire court case. Urinating on underage girls isn't a good look, and then blaming your brother for it in the meanwhile is even worse. I'm not saying I'm the most morally sound person, ‘cause I've done my share of things I regret, but certain shit you just don't do © Mos Def. The case's results from a month or so made me hate him even more: the fact that he could actually postpone that case for five years and get acquitted got me pissed (no pun intended) not only about how shady he was, but at the justice system in general. i.e., Somebody who wasn't a wealthy, multiplatinum-selling R&B superstar wouldn't have been able to postpone his case for five years to desensitize everyone involved, gather extra evidence for their case and get off of the hook Starting then, I made another vow to further boycott R. Kelly's music.

And he hasn't made doing so very difficult. Chocolate Factory was incredible, but after that, Kels released shitstain after shitstain. He's the only musician I know of to put out a double album on which both CDs were wack with Happy People/U Saved Me; imagine the excitement and subsequential sadness after I received that album free in the mail. SMH. Follow that up with a largely unlistenable continuation to the 12 Play trilogy (TP3: Reloaded, although "Remote Control" was my ish), a contrived attempt to return to the "R&B Thug shtick" (Double Up), and you've got a garbo latter half of a career. And that's not even including two albums with Jay-Z (possibly the biggest urban music disappointments of my lifetime). As if his cameos outside of Swizz Beatz' "It's Me Bitches" remix (which only thrived off of comedy) weren't enough, his guest spot on Raheem DeVaughn's "Customer" remix was the nail in the coffin. "If you're thirsty, I'll give you that good lemonade"? Word, Kels? I thought you already did that. And it's not music-related, but the picture with this post doesn't help, either.

But now, he's got a new leak out there (again, no pun intended) called 12 Play: Fourth Quarter. The first song, "Wanna Make A Baby," has got me pretty pissed: it's a perfect R. Kelly record. His vocals are perfect, the instrumental is vintage Kels, it's written with a simplicity that's complex, it's got the right dose of comedy ("I'ma set that ass on fire"), and the chord transitions are flawless. This is essentially a TP-2 song, and that's one of his best albums. The rest of the bootleg has some definite hits ("Whole Lotta Kisses," "Go Low") and some atrocious misses ("Hair Braider"), but it's actually upsetting to me that he's still capable of making great music. Now, it'll actually take work to not listen to something from his post-statutory catalog.

Gotta stay strong, though. If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. It‘s all good; Avant and Jaheim do half-decent (if not accurate) impersonations, and as far as I know, they're not fucking over the law and prepubescent girls.

 

P.S.: I left Blogger, and set up shop on Wordpress. Check me out by clicking by visiting http://ketchums.wordpress.com, or by clicking on the banner below. P.S.S.: The banner is another Smack! production.


The views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the writer and not necessarily those of HipHopDX.com or Cheri Media Group.

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